This week's UK TV & radio

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Friday : Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday

Listings for Paramount on Friday, March 2 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Scrubs My Office J.D. and Elliot butt heads over who's going to be chief resident. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox and Turk have great difficulty in the removal of a light bulb from a patient's posterior. (S4, E02) 
08:35Scrubs My New Game Problems begin to start in Dr Cox & Jordan's relationship once they realise they're still married. J.D. invents a new game. Heather Graham guests. (S4, E03) 
09:008 Simple Rules Sort of an Officer and a Gentleman (Part 2): The sibling rivalry between Cate and Maggie reaches boiling point, meanwhile Paul is concerned when he finds an empty pregnancy kit... (S1, E28) 
09:308 Simple Rules Premiere Bridget finds her popularity waning because of her exclusive, long distance relationship with Donny, while Kerry's social status skyrockets because of her relationship with Kyle. (S2, E01) 
10:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Joey's Dirty Day Joey has no time to shower after he comes home from a three-day fishing trip and has to head out to the set of Charlton Heston's new movie. (S4, E14) 
10:30Friends: Season 4 The One With All The Rugby Chandler runs into Janice, now divorced, and finds her more irritating than ever. Meanwhile, Ross plays rugby in an attempt to impress Emily. (S4, E15) 
11:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The Fake Party Rachel throws Emily a fake going away party so she can see Joshua outside of work. Meanwhile, Phoebe's pregnancy cravings kick in as she longs for meat. (S4, E16) 
11:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Free Porn The guys realise their TV is picking up a porno station for free, and Phoebe discovers she's carrying triplets. (S4, E17) 
12:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Rachel's New Dress Phoebe gets to name one of her babies which leads to Joey telling Chandler that he has a terrible name. Rachel's plan to seduce her boyfriend goes awry. (S4, E18) 
12:30Friends: Season 4 The One With All The Haste Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys. Meanwhile, Ross spontaneously pops the question to Emily. (S4, E19) 
13:00Impractical Jokers Joe, Sal, Murr and Q get ballsy while posing as salesmen, and then try to outdo each other as they invade the personal space of confused strangers. The loser gets to play dress-up. (S8, E02) 
13:30Impractical Jokers Joe, Sal, Murr and Q lend a hand while working at a high-tech store, then play detectives at the mall in search of perps on the loose. The loser gets the shakes while high above the city. (S8, E03) 
14:00Friends: Season 5 The One With Joey's Bag Phoebe meets her infamous father at her grandmother's funeral. Meanwhile, Chandler discovers that Monica gives terrible massages. (S5, E13) 
14:30Friends: Season 5 The One Where Everybody Finds Out Ross rents an apartment with a window facing Monica and Rachel's place. While checking out the apartment, Phoebe sees Monica and Chandler having sex. (S5, E14) 
15:00Friends: Season 5 The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey Joey's girlfriend likes to punch him and Ross alienates his new neighbours when he refuses to contribute to the retirement donation for the janitor. (S5, E15) 
15:30Friends: Season 5 The One With The Cop After Phoebe finds a police badge, she uses it to do good deeds. That is until she meets the policeman who lost it. (S5, E16) 
16:008 Simple Rules Sex Ed Cate teaches sex education at Bridget's school and gets suspicious when reading a letter from a "new girl" saying she feels pressured to have sex with her long-distance boyfriend. (S2, E02) 
16:308 Simple Rules Donny Goes AWOL The Doyles are shocked beyond words when Bridget decides to break up with their son Donny on a videotape, leading to a fight between the Hennesseys and the Doyles. (S2, E03) 
17:00Friends: Season 5 The One With Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss Rachel accidentally kisses the man interviewing her for a job. Meanwhile, Joey becomes obsessed with a woman living in Ross's apartment building. (S5, E17) 
17:30Friends: Season 5 The One Where Rachel Smokes Rachel starts smoking when she realizes that her boss and co-workers are all smokers and she's missing out on the benefits that come with their excursions. (S5, E18) 
18:00Friends: Season 5 The One Where Ross Can't Flirt Ross tries to flirt with the pizza delivery girl, with cringe worthy results. Meanwhile, Rachel loses a pair of earrings that Monica had lent to Phoebe. (S5, E19) 
18:30Friends: Season 5 The One With The Ride-Along While the guys are out on a ride along with Gary, a car backfires (sounding like a gun shot), and Ross feels like he had a 'near death experience'. (S5, E20) 
19:00Friends: Season 5 The One With The Ball Gary asks Phoebe to move in with him and Monica and Chandler join Ross and Joey in a game of catch that lasts for hours. (S5, E21) 
19:30Friends: Season 5 The One With Joey's Big Break Joey and Chandler take a road trip to Las Vegas, where Joey has landed the lead role in a movie. Phoebe is angry at Ross, but doesn't know why... (S5, 22) 
20:00Mr. Deeds Film When sweet-natured, small-town guy, Longfellow Deeds (Adam Sandler), inherits $40 billion from a deceased uncle, his life changes forever! (2002) 
22:00Bob's Burgers Sheesh! Cab, Bob? Bob takes a second job as a night time cab driver so he can give Tina the 13th birthday party she deserves, and he makes some surprising new friends along the ride. (S1, E06) 
22:30New: Rick and Morty Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate: Jerry is faced with the difficult decision of losing his manhood in order to save an alien leader from imminent death. Werner Herzog guest voices. (S2, E08) 
23:00South Park Lice Capades Eric tries to discover the source of an outbreak of lice at the school. The lice are living peacefully in a village until they see the school nurse staring at them! (S11, E03) 
23:30South Park The Snuke The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton. Eric suspects that a new student is planning a terrorist attack but the real culprits are deadlier. (S11, E04) 
00:00Barbershop Film Witness a day in the life of a barbershop on the south side of Chicago. Calvin (Ice Cube) sells the shop to a local loan shark, but slowly begins to see his father's vision and legacy. (2002) 
02:00New: The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Join Trevor Noah and his team as they take a satirical sideswipe at the latest in news and current affairs. Emmy Award winning irreverence from Comedy Central. 
02:30South Park Night of the Living Homeless When a plague of homeless people hits South Park, the boys devise a plan to move them on whilst the adults panic like they're in a zombie movie. (S11, E07) 
03:00South Park Le Petite Tourette Cartman experiences bliss when he discovers that, by pretending to have Tourettes, he can say whatever he likes to whoever he likes! Naturally, national TV beckons. (S11, E08) 
03:25South Park More Cr*p Inadvertently, Randy breaks the world record for the 'biggest cr*p'! Bono, the previous holder, is determined to regain his crown - but he has a dark secret which may stop him. (S11, E09) 
03:50South Park Imaginationland The boys find themselves in a magical land where all of the world's imagination is laid out before them, but Cartman is more interested in getting Kyle to suck his b***s. (S11, E10) 
04:15Two And A Half Men A Possum on Chemo Zoe has a favour to ask of Walden - lose the "hipster Jesus" look. But he has trouble letting go of the locks. Alan bumps into an old flame. (S9, E14) 
04:35Two And A Half Men The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack Walden starts to get concerned about his and Zoe's "carnal interludes". His solution turns out to be a tad unorthodox... Ashton Kutcher stars. (S9, E15) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.