This week's UK TV & radio

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Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday

Listings for Paramount on Monday, December 17 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Father of the Year When Will tries to impress a beautiful college girl (Tyra Banks) by pretending to be a single father, using his new infant cousin, he ends up in a whole heap of trouble. (S4, E04) 
08:35The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air It's Better to Have Loved and Lost It... Carlton loses his virginity to whom he believes to be Miss Right, but then finds out she's hiding something from him... (S4, E05) 
09:00My Wife And Kids Ultrasound Vanessa gets an ultrasound. Michael blurts out the sex of the baby even though neither Jay or any of the rest of the family want to know. (S4, E08) 
09:30My Wife And Kids Marathon Jay diets and exercises in training for an upcoming marathon, Michael laughs off all her training by insisting he can run faster than she can. (S4, E09) 
10:00Friends Christmas The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. (S8, E11) 
10:30Friends Christmas The One With Christmas in Tulsa When Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa, Monica suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be joined by a beautiful co-worker, Wendy. (S9, E10) 
11:00Friends The One With The Dirty Girl Ross's new girlfriend seems nearly perfect until he discovers that her apartment is incredibly dirty. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend. (S4, E06) 
11:30Friends The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Kathy. Ross starts playing the keyboard again and everyone apart from Phoebe thinks he's terrible. (S4, E07) 
12:00Friends The One With Chandler In A Box On Thanksgiving, Joey punishes Chandler for kissing Kathy and Monica gets a surprise when she visits an eye doctor who turns out to be Richard's son. (S4, E08) 
12:30Friends The One Where They're Going To Party! The guys try to be spontaneous and wild and Monica must decide between a steady job as head chef of a restaurant or her catering business with Phoebe. (S4, E09) 
13:00Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The guys encourage strangers to fill out their questionnaires with a broken hand in a waiting room, and then head to the market where they solicit strangers for money they don't deserve. (S9, E09) 
13:30Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The guys go face-to-face hitting the bulls-eye at a clothing store, and go head-to-head in a focus group sabotaging each other with strange inventions. (S9, E11) 
14:00Friends The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
14:30Friends The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement which involves a massive decision for Phoebe. (S4, E11) 
15:00Friends The One With The Embryos Phoebe undergoes an embryo transplant and becomes pregnant. Meanwhile, a simple challenge escalates into a full blown contest between the guys and the girls. (S4, E12) 
15:30Friends The One With Rachel's Crush Chandler has a hard time handling Kathy's new role in a play, in which she pretends to have sex with a handsome man, whilst Rachel is attracted to a customer. (S4, E13) 
16:00Friends The One With Joey's Dirty Day Joey has no time to shower after he comes home from a three-day fishing trip and has to head out to the set of Charlton Heston's new movie. (S4, E14) 
16:30Friends The One With All The Rugby Chandler runs into Janice, now divorced, and finds her more irritating than ever. Meanwhile, Ross plays rugby in an attempt to impress Emily. (S4, E15) 
17:008 Simple Rules Paul Meets His Match Paul wants to have a quiet Thanksgiving this year with just the family, but ends up having to reinforce the rule about no boys upstairs... (S1, E11) 
17:308 Simple Rules All I Want for Christmas Paul does everything he can to get his family the gifts they want. When the kids realize how much it means to him they decide to give him the best Christmas back. (S1, E12) 
18:00Friends The One With The Fake Party Rachel throws Emily a fake going away party so she can see Joshua outside of work. Meanwhile, Phoebe's pregnancy cravings kick in as she longs for meat. (S4, E16) 
18:30Friends The One With The Free Porn The guys realise their TV is picking up a porno station for free, and Phoebe discovers she's carrying triplets. (S4, E17) 
19:00Friends The One With Rachel's New Dress Phoebe gets to name one of her babies which leads to Joey telling Chandler that he has a terrible name. Rachel's plan to seduce her boyfriend goes awry. (S4, E18) 
19:30Friends The One With All The Haste Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys. Meanwhile, Ross spontaneously pops the question to Emily. (S4, E19) 
20:00Friends The One With The Holiday Armadillo Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10) 
20:30Friends The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. (S8, E11) 
21:00Russell Howard's Xmas Good News Russell picks his favourite bits from the seventh series. Tonight features; Boris Johnson, Obama, sexist pens, a tombstone vagina, a horse hairdresser, talking urinals, and a musical carrot. (S7, E12) 
22:00New: Impractical Jokers Christmas The jokers thrill a live theatre audience with holiday-themed games and compete to determine who will make the best Santa. The hair-raising punishment is almost too much for the Jokers to bear! 
23:00South Park The boys are back as South Park returns with brand new episodes, exclusive to Comedy Central! Season 22 sees the unrivalled comedy still as crude, rude and relevant as ever 
23:30Bad Education: Christmas Special Christmas Special When the class cannot decide on 'The Nutcracker' or 'Robocop' for the end of term Christmas play, Alfie writes 'Robocracker'! Will casting school bully Grayson prove wise? (S2, E07) 
00:05Russell Howard's Stand Up Central Russell talks adult colouring-in books and gluten; plus answers questions on the Queen's seduction methods, STD penguins. His guests are Chris Ramsey and Yuriko Kotani. (S2, E03) 
00:35Russell Howard's Stand Up Central Russell talks Tom Jones, pant throwing and RnB music with a West Country edge. His guests are Kiri Pritchard Maclean and James Acaster. (S2, E04) 
01:05Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The guys encourage strangers to fill out their questionnaires with a broken hand in a waiting room, and then head to the market where they solicit strangers for money they don't deserve. (S9, E09) 
01:30Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The guys go face-to-face hitting the bulls-eye at a clothing store, and go head-to-head in a focus group sabotaging each other with strange inventions. (S9, E11) 
02:00South Park The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs Butters gets the blame, and then the glory, after the boys write a book intended to be horribly rude but which is hailed as genius. Murder is the answer! (S14, E02) 
02:30South Park Medicinal Fried Chicken Cartman is furious to find that his favourite restaurant has been turned into a medical marijuana dispensary. Randy is less disappointed. (S14, E03) 
03:00South Park You Have 0 Friends Against his better judgement Stan joins Facebook and becomes a social networking juggernaut, causing him to be sucked into the website itself - 'Tron' parody ahoy! (S14, E04) 
03:25The Cleveland Show Dancing with the Stools Determined to claim the first place trophy at the annual "Dancing with the Stools" ballroom dance competition, Donna recruits Cleveland Jr. to be her partner. (S3, E10) 
03:50The Cleveland Show Das Shrimp Boot Cleveland relies on energy supplements to keep himself awake in order to work overtime and earn enough vacation time to go to a Spring Break cruise with his family. (S3, E13) 
04:15The Middle Christmas Christmas To allow Frankie to focus on rehearsing for a solo in her church's midnight Christmas service, Mike takes over handling the many chores of setting up the Heck family Christmas. (S1, E10) 
04:35The Middle Christmas A Simple Christmas Frankie's parents are in town for Christmas and the pair soon interfere in their daughter's plans for a quiet Christmas. Elsewhere, Axl builds Brick an igloo. (S2 E10) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
05:59This is Comedy Central This is Comedy Central 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.