This week's UK TV & radio

Congratulations on being true to the origins of web browsing. These fancy new browsers supporting web standards, such as CSS, just detract from the pure accessibility goodness of this site.

Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday

Listings for Paramount on Wednesday, January 24 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Middle Siblings Frankie sees the Donohues' kids being nice to each other and becomes self-conscious of her parenting skills. She tries to get her own brood together for some "family fun". (S1, E09) 
08:35The Middle The Jeans Frankie buys Sue an expensive pair of jeans and Mike buys Axl a cheap car. Meanwhile, Brick offers to take care of a relative's dog, and his parents, reluctantly, agree. (S1, E11) 
09:00The Middle The Neighbour Brooke Shields plays Rita Glossner, a cigarette-smoker with a hard-life who is considered "mean" by her neighbours. Her sons are deemed "bullies" and get in a fight with Sue. (S1, E12) 
09:35The Middle The Interview Mike finds dinosaur bones in the quarry. Unfortunately, this closes the quarry while the bones are analysed, putting Mike temporarily out of work. (S1, E13) 
10:00Friends The One With Monica's Boots Phoebe finds out that Sting's son is in Ben's class, so she goes to see Sting's wife (real wife Trudie Styler) pretending to be Ben's mother. (S8, E10) 
10:35Friends The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. (S8, E11) 
11:00Friends The One Where Joey Dates Rachel Rachel feels she can't go on dates anymore due to her being pregnant, so Joey decides to take her on a date. (S8, E12) 
11:35Friends The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath Monica sways Chandler's dislike of baths but he soon becomes addicted to them. Meanwhile, Monica mistakenly tells Phoebe that Joey has a crush on her. (S8, E13) 
12:00Friends The One With The Secret Closet Chandler becomes obsessed with finding out what is behind the door of Monica's secret closet. (S8, E14) 
12:35Friends The One With The Birthing Video Monica prepares a special Valentine's Day for Chandler which doesn't quite go to plan. Meanwhile, Joey ends up telling Ross about his feelings for Rachel. (S8, E15) 
13:00Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes See classic, fan-favourite episodes with shareable pop-up facts throughout. Plus behind-the-scenes stories and factoids. Tonight; there's a marriage made in hell. (S1, E05) 
13:30Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes See classic, fan-favourite episodes with shareable pop-up facts throughout. Plus behind-the-scenes stories and factoids. Tonight; the punishment hits a little too close to home. (S1, E07) 
14:00Friends The One Where Joey Tells Rachel The guys agree that Joey should tell Rachel about his feelings for her over dinner, regardless of the potential consequences. (S8, E16) 
14:30Friends The One With The Tea Leaves After studying tea leaves, Phoebe believes she will encounter the man of her dreams - and she soon meets a very handsome guy, Parker (Alec Baldwin). (S8, E17) 
15:00Friends The One In Massapequa Monica writes a speech for her parents' 35th wedding anniversary. Phoebe dates Parker (Alec Baldwin), whose enthusiasm for everything begins to wear on everyone. (S8, E18) 
15:30Friends The One With Joey's Interview Joey prepares for an interview with Soap Opera Digest, although he's afraid of saying something stupid that may jeopardize his career... again. (S8, E19) 
16:00Scrubs My Bed Banter and Beyond J.D. and Elliot decide to take their relationship in a new direction. Carla and Dr. Cox reminisce about their motivations to enter the medical field. (S1, E15) 
16:30Scrubs My Heavy Meddle The stress of work becomes too much for Dr. Cox and J.D. to bear. Carla defies Dr. Kelso to fulfil a dying patient's unusual last request. (S1, E16) 
17:00Friends The One With The Baby Shower During her baby shower Rachel has the realization that she is totally unprepared to care for a baby, sparking her mother's offer to move in with Ross and her. (S8, E20) 
17:30Friends The One With The Cooking Class Monica's cooking skills get a bad review in a newspaper. After confronting the critic who wrote it, she decides to join a cooking class, with Joey in tow. (S8, E21) 
18:00Friends The One Where Rachel Is Late When Rachel's pregnancy goes beyond her due date, the pain makes Rachel increasingly irritable. Meanwhile, Chandler falls asleep at Joey's movie premiere. (S8, E22) 
18:30Friends The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 1: Ross and Rachel arrive at the hospital. Ross' mum gives Ross her mother's engagement ring to propose to Rachel with. (S8, E23) 
19:00Friends The One Where Rachel Has a Baby, Part 2: After forty-seven hours of labour, Rachel has her baby. However, Joey finds Ross' engagement ring and accidently proposes to a vulnerable Rachel. (S8, E24) 
19:30Friends The One Where No One Proposes Following Joey's accidental proposal to Rachel, he tries to tell her it was an accident but can't find an opportune moment. (S9, E01) 
20:00Friends The One Where Emma Cries When Joey attempts to gain Ross' forgiveness for mistakenly asking Rachel to marry him, they end up in the emergency room. (S9, E02) 
20:30Friends The One With the Pediatrician Phoebe and Joey decide to set each other up on blind dates but Joey forgets, and finds a complete stranger named Mike (Paul Rudd) to be Phoebe's date. (S9, E03) 
21:00Impractical Jokers Q, Murr, Sal and Joe kill time in a waiting room by sharing some TMI texts with strangers, then try to sabotage each other as the wingmen from hell at a dating event. (S10, E17) 
21:30Impractical Jokers Joe, Sal, Q and Murr cruise the food court sending texts to strangers, then throw caution (and groceries) to the wind. (S10, E18) 
22:00Roast Battle Hosted by Jimmy Carr, with judges Russell Brand and Katherine Ryan. Featuring Joe Lycett vs. Nick Helm and Desiree Burch vs. Daniel Sloss. (S1, E02) 
22:30Roast Battle Hosted by Jimmy Carr, with judges Russell Brand and Katherine Ryan. Featuring Tom Allen vs. Suzi Ruffell and Phil Wang vs. Ed Gamble. (S1, E01) 
23:00The Cleveland Show You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown Cleveland's parents announce they are getting married and moving to Stoolbend. (S1, E21) 
23:30The Cleveland Show Harder, Better, Faster, Browner Kenny West is a single dad and struggling rapper whom Cleveland takes under his wing. (S2, E01) 
00:00Bob's Burgers The Silence of the Louise When Mr. Frond's therapy dolls are mysteriously attacked, Louise teams up with Millie to help solve the case. (S8, E02) 
00:30Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes See classic, fan-favourite episodes with shareable pop-up facts throughout. Plus behind-the-scenes stories and factoids. Tonight; the punishment hits a little too close to home. (S1, E07) 
01:00New: The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Join Trevor Noah and his team as they take a satirical sideswipe at the latest in news and current affairs. Emmy Award winning irreverence from Comedy Central. 
01:30South Park A Ladder To Heaven The boys break into the McKormick house to try and find a winning ticket. Whilst there Cartman mistakenly drinks Kenny's ashes and starts to have some strange visions... (S6, E12) 
02:00South Park The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers The boys are dressed up in full 'Middle Earth' gear, and are sent on a quest by Randy to deliver a video to Butter's parents. (S6, E13) 
02:30The Cleveland Show You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown Cleveland's parents announce they are getting married and moving to Stoolbend. (S1, E21) 
03:00The Cleveland Show Harder, Better, Faster, Browner Kenny West is a single dad and struggling rapper whom Cleveland takes under his wing. (S2, E01) 
03:25South Park The Death Camp of Tolerance Mr. Garrison realizes that getting fired for being gay could allow him to sue the school for millions, so he decides to perform crazy sex acts with Mr Slave. (S6, E14) 
03:50South Park The Biggest Douche in the Universe Cartman is rushed to hospital after again being possessed by Kenny. Chef believes a TV psychic can help but Stan isn't so sure... (S6, E15) 
04:15Two And A Half Men Pie Hole, Herb Whilst attempting to get back money he has lent Charlie, Alan oversteps a line and finds himself and Jake looking for a new home. Who can they turn to in their time of need? (S6, E02) 
04:35Two And A Half Men Damn You, Eggs Benedict Alan asks Charlie for advice on his forte - dating multiple women at once. Meanwhile, a drunk Jake is taking after his uncle and Charlie takes up cooking. (S6, E03) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.