This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Thursday, August 22 2019

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00My Wife And Kids Let Them Eat Pie When Junior dares Claire to eat Michael's piece of lemon meringue pie, Michael's previous lesson to the kids about sticking together comes back to bite him. (S2, E08) 
08:35My Wife And Kids Jay Gets Fired Jay gets fired in front of the girls on "take your daughter to work day" but discovers how much her family needs her. (S2, E09) 
09:00The US Office Money (Part 2): Michael hops a train to run away, but Jan meets him and tells him that they can work together to find a way to live. Meanwhile, Dwight pines over Angela. (S4, E08) 
09:30The US Office Local Ad Although informed that he and his employees can only be in the Dunder Mifflin commercial for a few seconds, Michael decides to produce a full commercial with the Scranton staff. (S4, E09) 
10:00The US Office Branch Wars Karen, now Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Utica, attempts to lure Stanley away. Pranking Karen for her attempt, Michael and Dwight trick Jim into going on a "panty raid". (S4, E10) 
10:30The US Office Survivor Man When Michael is not invited to a company wilderness retreat hosted by Ryan, he decides to prove that he has the ability to survive on his own. (S4, E11) 
11:00Friends: Season 3 The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends Monica's willpower is tested when she runs into Richard at a video store. (S3, E13) 
11:30Friends: Season 3 The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Phoebe is reunited with her former singing partner (Elizabeth Daily). Meanwhile, Rachel's new job is putting a strain on her relationship with Ross. (S3, E14) 
12:00Friends: Season 3 The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break (1): Ross seeks solace at a party after a bitter fight with Rachel and ends up in the arms of another woman. First of a two-part episode. (S3, E15) 
12:30Friends: Season 3 The One The Morning After (2): When Rachel discovers that Ross slept with Chloe, she decides to break up with him. Second of a two-part episode. (S3, E16) 
13:00Friends: Season 3 The One With The Tiny T-Shirt Rachel goes on her first date since her breakup with Ross. Monica dates Pete the billionaire, even though she is still not attracted to him. (S3, E19) 
13:30Friends: Season 3 The One With The Dollhouse Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel and Monica inherits a dollhouse. (S3, E20) 
14:00Friends: Season 3 The One With A Chick And A Duck When Pete buys a restaurant, Monica must decide whether to accept his offer of employment there. Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler adopt a duck and a chick. (S3, E21) 
14:30Friends: Season 3 The One With The Screamer Ross thinks that Rachel's date (Ben Stiller) is crazy. Joey falls in love with Kate, but when she's offered a job in Los Angeles, she takes it. (S3, E22) 
15:00Friends: Season 3 The One At The Beach The gang goes to the beach. Phoebe meets a family friend with links to her family's past and Ross discovers that Rachel still loves him. (S3, E25) 
15:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Jellyfish Ross dates Rachel again after unwittingly agreeing to take responsibility for their breakup. Meanwhile, Monica gets stung by a jellyfish. (S4, E01) 
16:00My Wife And Kids Let Them Eat Pie When Junior dares Claire to eat Michael's piece of lemon meringue pie, Michael's previous lesson to the kids about sticking together comes back to bite him. (S2, E08) 
16:30My Wife And Kids Jay Gets Fired Jay gets fired in front of the girls on "take your daughter to work day" but discovers how much her family needs her. (S2, E09) 
17:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Joey's New Girlfriend Joey thinks that Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend, Kathy. However, little does he know, it's exactly the opposite. (S4, E05) 
17:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Dirty Girl Ross's new girlfriend seems nearly perfect until he discovers that her apartment is incredibly dirty. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend. (S4, E06) 
18:00Friends: Season 4 The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Kathy. Ross starts playing the keyboard again and everyone apart from Phoebe thinks he's terrible. (S4, E07) 
18:30Friends: Season 4 The One With Chandler In A Box On Thanksgiving, Joey punishes Chandler for kissing Kathy and Monica gets a surprise when she visits an eye doctor who turns out to be Richard's son. (S4, E08) 
19:00Friends: Season 4 The One Where They're Going To Party! The guys try to be spontaneous and wild and Monica must decide between a steady job as head chef of a restaurant or her catering business with Phoebe. (S4, E09) 
19:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
20:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement which involves a massive decision for Phoebe. (S4, E11) 
20:30New: Takeshi's Castle Join host Roman Kemp and rap legend Big Narstie in all the madness. Contestants face Flying Mushroom and a very Slippery Wall before attacking the castle. (S6, E10) 
21:00Zombieland Film A shy student (Jesse Eisenberg), a gun-toting tough guy (Woody Harrelson), and a pair of sisters (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin) join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America. (2009) 
22:55The Ricky Gervais Show Karl's academic predictions for the future include; everyone will be ugly and physically weaker, trousers will cease to be produced and we will blend all of our food. Vintage Pilkington (S2, E08) 
23:30The Ricky Gervais Show Topics include the value of discovering new species; a perturbing feature for a future car; and a documentary about a pregnant man. (S2, E09) 
00:00South Park #REHASH (1): Kyle is unimpressed with young kids watching others do stuff. Meanwhile, "Lorde" (Randy) is booked to play a concert with Nicki Minaj & Iggy Azalea - can he go through with it? (S18, E09) 
00:30South Park #HappyHolograms (2): Still burning over Ike calling him a Grandpa, Kyle teams up with some stars (including Bill Cosby!) to create the most extravagant televised Holiday Spectacular ever! (S18, E10) 
01:00South Park Member Berries Only a reboot of the National Anthem can save America - can the man who saved Star Wars do it? Meanwhile, Randy is enraged by politics and Cartman takes on sexist trolls. (S20, E01) 
01:30South Park Skank Hunt Stan, Kyle, and Kenny decide to take down Cartman, whom they believe to be the Internet troll. Meanwhile, the real troll (Kyle's dad!) begins to spread his trolling globally. (S20, E02) 
02:00South Park The Damned Cartman's disappearance from Twitter results in a police investigation, Skankhunt42 continues his ways, and Mr Garrison (douche) goes head-to-head with Hillary Clinton (turd). (S20, E03) 
02:30South Park Wieners Out Kyle attempts to bring the feud between the boys and girls to an end, but can he succeed? Meanwhile Gerald feels the pressure of his trolling and makes some surprising friends. (S20, E04) 
03:00South Park Douche and a Danish Gerald unites with the other trolls against Denmark, Cartman and his girlfriend (!) have a plan to reunite the school, and Garrison goes too far at one of his rallies. (S20, E05) 
03:25South Park Fort Collins An entire city in Colorado gets hacked. Gerald and Cartman may lose everything when their complete history of internet activity becomes public. (S20, E06) 
03:50South Park Oh, Jeez South Park is in shock at the news Mr Garrison has beaten Hillary Clinton, Cartman gets ever more fearful, and the 'Member Berries' unleash their epically nostalgic secret weapon. (S20, E07) 
04:15Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show following The Tenderloins. The guys try to kiss strangers, eat food out of other people's shopping karts, and invade people's conversations for 30 seconds.(S2, E07) 
04:35Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show. The guys try to get signatures for college clubs that don't exist, and behave rudely at odds with elevator etiquette. (S2, E08) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.