This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Friday, February 23 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Scrubs My Porcelain God Dr. Casey (Michael J. Fox) and J.D discover the toilet the Janitor installed on the roof. Dr. Kelso closes down a wing of the hospital but Dr. Cox and Carla fight back. (S3, E13) 
08:35Scrubs My Screw Up Dr. Cox is all smiles when Jordan's brother, Ben (Brendan Fraser), returns, but soon regrets forcing J.D. to focus all his attention on him. Carla has her eye on Turk's mole... (S3, E14) 
09:008 Simple Rules Drummer Boy (Part 2): A love struck Bridget sneaks out of the house with Kerry to see Ben. Meanwhile, Rory tries to find an alternative to writing a book report without reading the novel. (S1, E18) 
09:308 Simple Rules Cool Parent Frustrated with the unsupervised parties Bridget and Kerry have been attending, Paul decides to chaperone a party himself and also becomes unreliable! (S1, E19) 
10:00Friends: Season 3 The One With The Football The gang plays a game of touch football on Thanksgiving, but temperatures run wild as sibling rivalry between Ross and Monica dominates proceedings. (S3, E09) 
10:30Friends: Season 3 The One Where Rachel Quits Ross accidentally breaks a girl's leg, and attempts to make it up to her by selling cookies so she can win a trip. (S3, E10) 
11:00Friends: Season 3 ...Which Sister: A drunken Chandler fools around with one of Joey's sisters - but he can't remember which one. (S3, E11) 
11:30Friends: Season 3 The One With All The Jealousy Ross becomes jealous when he thinks he catches Rachel's new co-worker, Mark, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. (S3, E12) 
12:00Friends: Season 3 The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends Monica's willpower is tested when she runs into Richard at a video store. (S3, E13) 
12:30Friends: Season 3 The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Phoebe is reunited with her former singing partner (Elizabeth Daily). Meanwhile, Rachel's new job is putting a strain on her relationship with Ross. (S3, E14) 
13:00Impractical Jokers Joe, Sal, Murr, and Q hit the supermarket to mess with shoppers in an epic game of Hide-and-Sneak, the guys draw straws at a BBQ joint, and tonight's loser gets a bad case of stage fright. (S7, E04) 
13:30Impractical Jokers The guys work the register at a burger restaurant before taking their fun to a department store. Later, the loser faces their fears in a terrifying elevator ride. (S7, E05) 
14:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Chandler In A Box On Thanksgiving, Joey punishes Chandler for kissing Kathy and Monica gets a surprise when she visits an eye doctor who turns out to be Richard's son. (S4, E08) 
14:30Friends: Season 4 The One Where They're Going To Party! The guys try to be spontaneous and wild and Monica must decide between a steady job as head chef of a restaurant or her catering business with Phoebe. (S4, E09) 
15:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
15:30Friends: Season 4 The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement which involves a massive decision for Phoebe. (S4, E11) 
16:008 Simple Rules Every Picture Tells a Story Paul finds himself accused of stealing an item from a famous race car driver's mansion whose life story he's been asked to write. (S1, E20) 
16:308 Simple Rules Kerry's Video Bridget has taped over Kerry's video project. Paul jokingly suggests she do her project on Bridget, and Kerry decides she will; on how the beautiful people have life easier. (S1, E21) 
17:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The Embryos Phoebe undergoes an embryo transplant and becomes pregnant. Meanwhile, a simple challenge escalates into a full blown contest between the guys and the girls. (S4, E12) 
17:30Friends: Season 4 The One With Rachel's Crush Chandler has a hard time handling Kathy's new role in a play, in which she pretends to have sex with a handsome man, whilst Rachel is attracted to a customer. (S4, E13) 
18:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Joey's Dirty Day Joey has no time to shower after he comes home from a three-day fishing trip and has to head out to the set of Charlton Heston's new movie. (S4, E14) 
18:30Friends: Season 4 The One With All The Rugby Chandler runs into Janice, now divorced, and finds her more irritating than ever. Meanwhile, Ross plays rugby in an attempt to impress Emily. (S4, E15) 
19:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The Fake Party Rachel throws Emily a fake going away party so she can see Joshua outside of work. Meanwhile, Phoebe's pregnancy cravings kick in as she longs for meat. (S4, E16) 
19:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Free Porn The guys realise their TV is picking up a porno station for free, and Phoebe discovers she's carrying triplets. (S4, E17) 
20:00Big Momma's House 2 Film After his mentor is killed, an FBI agent (Martin Lawrence) reprises his disguise as a fat old lady and takes a job as a nanny in a crime suspect's house. (2006) 
22:00New: Bob's Burgers V for Valentine-Detta On Valentine's Day, Tina gets her heart broken, so Linda and Louise attempt to cheer her up by taking her on a girls' night out. Bob and Gene become closer than ever. (S8, E08) 
22:30New: Rick and Morty Big Trouble in Little Sanchez Summer asks Rick to transport his mind into a teenager to shield her from vampires at school. Beth and Jerry go the extra mile to sort out their relationship. (S2, E07) 
23:00South Park With Apologies to Jessie Jackson Randy faces public ridicule for using the "N" word on live TV. Cartman can't resist teasing a little person who comes to school to teach about prejudice. (S11, E01) 
23:30South Park Cartman Sucks After caught in a compromising position with Eric, Butters is sent to a special camp to "Pray the Gay Away". Cartman tries to retrieve the incriminating photo but has issues. (S11, E02) 
00:00Lesbian Vampire Killers Film Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires, the menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads (James Corden & Mathew Horne) out onto the moors as a sacrifice. (2009) 
01:40South Park The Return of Chef The boys notice that Chef is acting weird after returning from the 'The Super Adventure Club'. Why is he trying to seduce them? Can a trip to a strip joint help? (S10, E01) 
02:05South Park Smug Alert Kyle's father buys a new hybrid car but it's not long before his smug levels reach ridiculous levels - must be time to move to San Fran! How will Cartman deal with no Kyle? (S10, E02) 
02:35South Park A Million Little Fibbers Towlie writes his memoirs and it's not long before he's invited onto The Oprah Winfrey Show, but Oprah's vagina and anus are plotting against her. (S10, E05) 
03:05The Cleveland Show Sex and the Biddy When Murray gets a girlfriend named Hazel, Rallo discovers she is after Murray's money and tries to save him from making a mistake. Donna signs Cleveland up for the gym. (S3, E06) 
03:25The Cleveland Show Die Semi-Hard While staging their own live nativity scene, Cleveland tells his family his version of the greatest holiday-themed blockbuster movie ever told. (S3, E07) 
03:50New: The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Joining Trevor tonight is Lupita Nyong'o, talking about her role in new Marvel superhero movie "Black Panther". 
04:15Two And A Half Men Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead Charlie and Courtney have an adult, mature, amicable break-up... leaving Charlie feeling low and reaching for the bourbon. Jane Lynch guest-stars. (S8, E12) 
04:35Two And A Half Men Skunk, Dog, C**p and Ketchup When Charlie and Lyndsey realise they've got quite a lot in common, it doesn't take Alan long to jump to the wrong conclusions. Oh Alan! (S8, E13) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.