This week's UK TV & radio

Congratulations on being true to the origins of web browsing. These fancy new browsers supporting web standards, such as CSS, just detract from the pure accessibility goodness of this site.

Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday : Sunday : Monday

Listings for Paramount on Thursday, May 24 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Middle The Scratch While scrambling to gather garbage for trash day, Frankie accidentally hits Brick with a bottle. When Brick brags to a hall monitor, Frankie and Mike must answer to the police. (S1, E07) 
08:35The Middle Thanksgiving Frankie cancels Thanksgiving. Mike and the kids try to pull Thanksgiving together for her. Meanwhile, Sue has a boyfriend whom everyone but her thinks is gay. (S1, E08) 
09:00Friends: Season 6 The One Where Chandler Can't Cry Angry that Rachel interfered in her relationship with Ross, Jill sets out to seduce him. Meanwhile, Joey learns that people think Phoebe is a porn star. (S6, E14) 
09:30Friends: Season 6 The One That Could Have Been (1): Contemplating how differently their lives could have turned out, the gang fantasize about the paths they could have so easily taken. (S6, E15) 
10:00Gilmore Girls Like Mother, Like Daughter Chilton's headmaster Charleston thinks Rory isn't properly socializing and when Lorelai disagrees he tells her Rory may be taking after her mom. (S2, E07) 
11:00Friends: Season 6 The One That Could Have Been (2): In the friends' continuing speculative fantasy, Ross initiates a threesome with his wife and her female friend but it doesn't go the way he wanted. (S6, E16) 
11:30Friends: Season 6 The One With Unagi Chandler and Monica agree to give each other homemade presents for their six-month anniversary and Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. (S6, E17) 
12:00Friends: Season 6 The One Where Ross Dates a Student When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble by dating a student. (S6, E18) 
12:30Friends: Season 6 The One With Joey's Fridge Ross tries to contain his paranoia when his student girlfriend goes on spring break with her wild friends. (S6, E19) 
13:00Impractical Jokers: Season 6 Joe, Sal, Q, and Murr ham it up behind the counter of a famous NYC deli and head to Union Square where they break the ice with bizarre behaviour while selling popsicles. (S6, E14) 
13:30Impractical Jokers: Season 6 The guys pose as blackjack dealers at a Connecticut casino, play another hint and guess game at the park, and go head-to-head acting as shoe shiners. (S6, E15) 
14:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Joey's New Brain Joey learns that his character in his daytime drama is about to gain prominence at the expense of the show's diva star (Susan Sarandon). (S7, E15) 
14:30Friends: Season 7 The One With The Truth About London Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is angry after Rachel teaches Ben practical jokes. (S7, E16) 
15:00Friends: Season 7 The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Meanwhile, Joey and Ross fight over the same girl and go to drastic measures to win. (S7, E17) 
15:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Joey's Award Joey is nominated for a "Soapie" but loses. However, when he accepts a different award on behalf of a co-star, he finds himself unwilling to hand it over. (S7, E18) 
16:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Just Say Yo Will is run down with work, school, and his girlfriend, and has trouble staying awake. He decides to take amphetamines to help him... (S3, E19) 
16:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air The Baby Comes Out Vivian's baby is a week late, but family members and her visiting sisters Vy and Janice are nowhere to be found when it is time to rush to the hospital! (S3, E20) 
17:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Ross and Monica's Cousin Monica's gorgeous cousin (Denise Richards) unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross as they become infatuated by her good looks. (S7, E19) 
17:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Rachel's Big Kiss Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister (Winona Ryder). Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos. (S7, E20) 
18:00Friends: Season 7 The One With The Vows Chandler and Monica struggle to write their wedding vows. This prompts the group to remember the journey Monica and Chandler have made over the past few years. (S7, E21) 
18:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Chandler's Dad Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father (Kathleen Turner). Meanwhile, Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche. (S7, E22) 
19:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding Part 1: Chandler gets the pre-wedding jitters and runs away. Meanwhile, Phoebe finds a positive pregnancy test and assumes it's Monica's. (S7, E23) 
19:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding Part 2: Monica remains unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day. Meanwhile, Joey's drunk co-star could make him miss the nuptials. (S7, E24) 
20:00Friends: Season 8 The One After "I Do": Everybody thinks Monica's pregnant, but her denial quickly shifts the focus to Phoebe, thereby taking the heat off of a nervous Rachel. (S8, E01) 
20:30Friends: Season 8 The One With The Red Sweater Rachel won't tell anybody who the father is until she tells him. Meanwhile, Joey mistakenly thinks Phoebe is pregnant and makes a gallant gesture. (S8, E02) 
21:00Hot Shots! Part Deux Film "Rambo" parody in which Topper Harley (Charlie Sheen) leads a rescue team into Iraq to save Iraqi war prisoners and all of their previous rescue teams. Miguel Ferrer and Rowan Atkinson feature. (1993) 
22:45New: Teachers Don't Go Pranking My Heart Ms. Watson and Principal Pearson struggle with balancing their new romantic relationship at work. Ms. Feldman takes April Fools' Day too far. (S2, E19) 
23:15New: Teachers Labour Pains After Mrs. Adler announces she's pregnant, we're taken back in time to the 1940s, where the women of Fillmore fight for better treatment at work. (S2, E20) 
23:458 Out of 10 Cats A panel show based on statistics, hosted by Jimmy Carr. Team captains are Sean Lock and Dave Spikey; joined by Ulrika Jonsson, Michael McIntyre, Krishnan Guru-Murthy and Johnny Vegas. (S4, E05) 
00:20Inside Amy Schumer Sketch and stand-up show starring Amy Schumer. Amy meets the press, gets ready for sex, and watches her boyfriend turn gay. Adam Horovitz of The Beastie Boys guests. (S2, E10) 
00:50South Park Dead Celebrities The ghost of Michael Jackson refuses to accept his death, leaving the rest of the recently dead celebrities frustrated in purgatory and poor Ike having ghostly visits! (S13, E08) 
01:20South Park Butter's Bottom B***h Oblivious to his actions, the little innocent Butters starts up 'The Kissing Company', and is soon the most notorious pimp around. Will undercover cops ruin his fun? (S13, E09) 
01:50South Park W. T. F.: After seeing their first live WWE wrestling match the boys decide to form their own wrestling federation... and gain a huge redneck following! (S13, E10) 
02:25South Park Whale W****s Kyle joins the crew of a reality documentary show who confront Japanese whalers, but finds their tactics leave a lot to be desired for and that war with Japan beckons! (S13, E11) 
02:55South Park The F Word The boys confront a group of obnoxious bikers, but their methods force the townsfolk to redefine the meaning of a rather offensive word. Time to update the English Dictionary! (S13, E12) 
03:20South Park Dances With Smurfs Cartman's vitriol finally gets a platform when he is chosen to be the school's morning announcer, and he unashamedly abuses his position. Power corrupts...(S13, E13) 
03:50Rick and Morty Something Ricked This Way Comes Rick goes to battle with the devil, and Summer gets upset about it. Plus Jerry helps Morty with his science fair project. (S1, E09) 
04:15Impractical Jokers: Season 6 Joe, Sal, Q, and Murr ham it up behind the counter of a famous NYC deli and head to Union Square where they break the ice with bizarre behaviour while selling popsicles. (S6, E14) 
04:35Impractical Jokers: Season 6 The guys pose as blackjack dealers at a Connecticut casino, play another hint and guess game at the park, and go head-to-head acting as shoe shiners. (S6, E15) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.