This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount 2 on Wednesday, December 13 2017

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
09:00Two And A Half Men Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea - what could be the problem? Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap. (S7, E09) 
09:30Two And A Half Men That's Why They Call It Ballroom Whilst taking dance lessons, Charlie discovers that Chelsea has been dishonest about her finances. Alan and Jake watch Alan's old wedding video. (S7, E10) 
10:00Bob's Burgers The Laser-Inth Bob and Gene travel together to visit the planetarium to attend the last ever rock-and-roll laser show, meanwhile Linda and the girls go for dinner at a wacky restaurant. (S7, E18) 
10:30Bob's Burgers Thelma & Louise Except Thelma is Linda After Louise gets in trouble at school, Linda is forced to choose between following policy or her own moral code. Bob finds himself alone. (S7, E19) 
11:00Impractical Jokers Practical joke show. The guys spare no shame doing whatever they're told to do when bowling. Also, a potato scoop challenge proves as hard as convincing someone imaginary clouds exist! (S4, E07) 
11:30Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show. The jokers complete tasks from the top to bottom of escalators. In the supermarket awkward sweet nothings are whispered to strangers. (S4, E08) 
12:00My Wife And Kids The Wedding Jr. and Vanessa's plan for a small, simple wedding get drowned out by Michael and Jay's lavish plans for the wedding of the century. (S5, E10) 
12:30My Wife And Kids Careful What You Wish For After Michael treats Jay horribly during a double date with Jr. and Vanessa who are still very much in love, Jay demands Michael be more attentive to her. (S5, E11) 
13:00Malcolm In The Middle Lois's Birthday When Lois gives the boys $10 each to buy her a birthday present, they decide to get something for themselves, and Hal forgets altogether! There'll be hell to pay... (S2, E03) 
13:30Malcolm In The Middle Dinner Out Spangler announces his mother's visit, so Francis uses the opportunity to organize a dance. Meanwhile, the Kenarbans invite the whole family to dinner - what could go wrong? (S2, E04) 
14:00Bob's Burgers Mom, Lies, and Videotape Linda comes down with a cold and cannot attend the Mother's Day show at Wagstaff, so the kids decide to put on their version of the pageant for her. (S7, E20) 
14:30Bob's Burgers Paraders of The Lost Float In light of rain being forecasted the day of the Bog to Beach parade, Teddy tries to persuade Bob to participate in the float contest for an easy victory. (S7, E21) 
15:00Deal With It Hidden camera practical joke show. A fake funeral threatens to finish a friendship forever! Also, Tom Green gets a dad to deal with telling his daughter he's leaving the family for a man...! (S2, E03) 
15:30Deal With It Comedian Theo Von, and his guests, dares people to pull pranks on the public. Tonight's guests are Kendall & Kylie Jenner and comedian Gary Owen. (S2, E04) 
16:00New: Wipeout USA Contestants make their way through an action-packed giant obstacle course to win a cash prize. This episode features a rock star and maths wiz, who face the Moving Big Balls and Hoop Run. (S3, E16) 
17:00Impractical Jokers The Jokers must do what they are told at a public pool, and try to convince strangers to give the thumbs-up to their absurd e-mails. (S6, E12) 
17:30Impractical Jokers The guys work stadium security, conduct a crime investigation class, and return to the park to test their memory again. (S6, E13) 
18:00Impractical Jokers Practical joke show. This week's all about slyly dipping fries and not so slyly throwing nuggets! A 'Beth' needs to be found to avoid losing and facing a very uncomfortable dog walk! (S4, E09) 
18:30Impractical Jokers Practical joke show. It's risky business walking around a pool in blacked out sunnies! The guys try to get fake books published and it's a big break dancing performance for the loser! (S4, E11) 
19:00The Middle The Table Frankie and Mike approach their 22nd wedding anniversary. Frankie finds a full dining set on sale for them online for $50 - is all as it seems? Meanwhile, Brick starts a podcast. (S6, E04) 
19:30The Middle Halloween V: Frankie and Mike are stunned to learn that Brick has invited a girl over to the house just to hang with him. Meanwhile, Sue hits on an idea to help supplement her college fund. (S6, E05) 
20:00Bob's Burgers Mom, Lies, and Videotape Linda comes down with a cold and cannot attend the Mother's Day show at Wagstaff, so the kids decide to put on their version of the pageant for her. (S7, E20) 
20:30Bob's Burgers Paraders of The Lost Float In light of rain being forecasted the day of the Bog to Beach parade, Teddy tries to persuade Bob to participate in the float contest for an easy victory. (S7, E21) 
21:00Bob's Burgers The Equestranauts In a homage to the "Bronies" subculture, Tina attends her first Equestra-con, a convention based on her favourite animated pony show, "The Equestranauts". (S4, E17) 
21:30Bob's Burgers Friends with Burger-fits Bob and Teddy become workout buddies when Bob finds out that Teddy's bad health is from his burgers. Meanwhile, Linda and the kids run an ice wrestling league. (S5, E03) 
22:00South Park: Season 5 Scott Tenorman Must Die Cartman is tricked into buying pubic hair by Scott Tenorman. Outraged at being laughed at, he plots the most sickest, evil revenge possible... Radiohead guest star. (S5, E04) 
22:30South Park: Season 5 Terrance and Phillip - Behind The Blow: The boys face death at the hands of some unhinged environmentalists unless they can re-unite Terrance & Phillip for a show at Earth Day Festival! (S5, E05) 
23:00Rick and Morty Meeseeks And Destroy Rick provides the family with a solution to their problems, freeing him up to go on an adventure led by Morty. (S1, E05) 
23:30Rick and Morty Rick Potion #9 After Rick gives Morty a Love-potion for prom, things quickly spiral out of control when the Serum splices with the Flu. Rick and Morty scramble to cure the crisis. (S1, E06) 
00:00Brickleberry That Brother's My Father Denzel dates (then marries) Woody's mother, while Connie kidnaps Pat Sajak after blowing her chances at becoming a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. (S3, E04) 
00:30Jeff & Some Aliens Jeff & Some Colonists An Azurian orders aliens to colonise Earth and direct their resources toward producing fruit smoothies. Adult animation. (S1, E05) 
01:00TripTank The TripTank staff testifies in front of a congressional committee, Ricky the Rocketship botches a rescue mission, and a father takes his kids on a wild ride. (S2, E09) 
01:30Lip Sync Battle Celebrities pair up to do battle using lip sync as their weapon, and the audience is the judge! In this episode NeNe Leakes (Roz in 'Glee') goes up against reality TV star Todd Chrisley. (S2, E11) 
02:00Jimmy Carr: Being Funny Jimmy is well known for his one liners and non-stop gags. His wit and fast-paced style are at their brilliant best here as we get too-rude-for-TV jokes, hilarious heckling, and even better put-downs. 
03:00Russell Howard's Good News Russell takes a cheeky trawl through the news. Tonight features; an OAP computer gamer, a man who runs like a monkey, a crime fighting fog machine, and a masturbating policeman. (S6, E08) 
03:45Impractical Jokers The guys get stuck in a grocery post-it showdown, ask strangers for questionable quotes at the park, and give "sound" financial tips to hopefuls as advisors. (S10, E03) 
04:05Lip Sync Battle Celebrities pair up to do battle using lip sync as their weapon, and the audience is the judge! In this episode NeNe Leakes (Roz in 'Glee') goes up against reality TV star Todd Chrisley. (S2, E11) 
04:30The Middle Two of a Kind: Frankie and Mike are caught in the middle of a long standing family feud. A fearful Sue receives her first detention ever for being caught going off campus for lunch. (S6, E21) 
04:50The Middle While You Were Sleeping Frankie and Mike's date night is ruined when both fall asleep, Axl and Brick try to invent the next big thing, and Sue is invited to the prom by a store greeter. (S6, E22) 
05:10Friends The One With Ross's Grant Ross applies for a paleontology grant and finds out that Charlie's ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart (Greg Kinnear), reviews the applications. (S10, E06) 
05:35Friends The One Where Chandler Gets Caught Rachel and Phoebe see Chandler getting into a car with another woman. After following him to the suburbs, they suspect he might be cheating. (S10, E10) 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.