This week's UK TV & radio

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Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday

Listings for Paramount 2 on Saturday, December 16 2017

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
09:00Malcolm In The Middle Smunday The boys are grounded for losing Dewey's bike and can't wait for their release, but Lois is sick in bed and mistakes Monday for Sunday. Time for some school ditching! (S1, E15) 
09:30Malcolm In The Middle Water Park The family takes a day vacation at the water-park. All except Dewey, who has to stay home with an overage babysitter, which turns out to be more fun than expected. Season finale. (S1, E16) 
10:00Malcolm In The Middle Traffic Jam As the family drives home from the water-park, they get stuck in a traffic jam. Each family members tries to deal with heat, stress and boredom in their own way. (S2, E01) 
10:30Malcolm In The Middle Halloween Approximately Francis is a week late for Halloween, but that won't stop his traditional festive vandalism, since he has the perfect plan to cause mischief in the neighbourhood. (S2, E02) 
11:00Malcolm In The Middle Lois's Birthday When Lois gives the boys $10 each to buy her a birthday present, they decide to get something for themselves, and Hal forgets altogether! There'll be hell to pay... (S2, E03) 
11:30Malcolm In The Middle Dinner Out Spangler announces his mother's visit, so Francis uses the opportunity to organize a dance. Meanwhile, the Kenarbans invite the whole family to dinner - what could go wrong? (S2, E04) 
12:00Friends The One With The Dozen Lasagnas Everyone knows the sex of Ross' baby except for Ross. Meanwhile, Rachel's relationship with Paolo hits a snag when he makes a pass at Phoebe. (S1, E12) 
12:30Friends The One With The Candy Hearts Ross and his Valentine's Day date end up at the same restaurant as Susan and Carol. Inevitably, things don't go quite to plan. (S1, E14) 
13:00Friends The One With The Stoned Guy Monica cooks a gourmet meal for a restaurateur looking for a new chef. However, there's one problem... he's a little "baked" himself. (S1, E15) 
13:30Friends The One With Two Parts (1): Joey falls for Phoebe's twin sister, making Phoebe feel neglected and Ross has doubts about parenthood when he attends Lamaze classes with Carol and Susan. (S1, E16) 
14:00Bob's Burgers Ain't Miss Debatin Tina unexpectedly finds success and a relationship with Henry when she is recruited by Wagstaff's debate team. (S7, E15) 
14:30Bob's Burgers Zero Larp Thirty Linda wins a contest that lets her spend a weekend at the home where her favourite tv show is filmed, but it doesn't go quite as planned. (S7, E17) 
15:00Bob's Burgers The Laser-Inth Bob and Gene travel together to visit the planetarium to attend the last ever rock-and-roll laser show, meanwhile Linda and the girls go for dinner at a wacky restaurant. (S7, E18) 
15:30Bob's Burgers Thelma & Louise Except Thelma is Linda After Louise gets in trouble at school, Linda is forced to choose between following policy or her own moral code. Bob finds himself alone. (S7, E19) 
16:00Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show. The guys give terrible safety presentations and attempt to persuade strangers that their online dating profiles are legit! Defeat means revealing all! (S4, E05) 
16:30Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show. Q gets picked on as Jokers turn voters when deciding who has to embarrass themselves. But will it backfire? Friendships are tested this week! (S4, E06) 
17:00Impractical Jokers Practical joke show. The guys spare no shame doing whatever they're told to do when bowling. Also, a potato scoop challenge proves as hard as convincing someone imaginary clouds exist! (S4, E07) 
17:30Impractical Jokers Hidden camera practical joke show. The jokers complete tasks from the top to bottom of escalators. In the supermarket awkward sweet nothings are whispered to strangers. (S4, E08) 
18:00The Middle The Wind Chimes Rita Glossner puts up wind chimes, which annoys Frankie, Brick obsesses over coming up with a new pretzel product, and Axl & Hutch try to move an old couch into their room. (S5, E19) 
18:30The Middle The Optimist With graduation less than 2 years away, Sue finds herself becoming stressed out when she frantically tries to earn a scholarship. Axl and Hutch try to bulk up for football. (S5, E20) 
19:00The Middle Office Hours Feeling that her mind has been turned into Swiss cheese over the kids' never ending requests of her, Frankie sets up office hours. Brick invites his new friends over. (S5, E21) 
19:30The Middle Heck on a Hard Body: Sue is determined to win a car in a contest that requires her to keep her hand on the car longer than other contestants. Mike's brother Rusty is homeless again - uh-oh...(S5, E22) 
20:00Friends The One With The Dozen Lasagnas Everyone knows the sex of Ross' baby except for Ross. Meanwhile, Rachel's relationship with Paolo hits a snag when he makes a pass at Phoebe. (S1, E12) 
20:30Friends The One With The Candy Hearts Ross and his Valentine's Day date end up at the same restaurant as Susan and Carol. Inevitably, things don't go quite to plan. (S1, E14) 
21:00Bad Education Swimming Gala Alfie turns up for the new term with a terrible hair-cut - thanks to his father - and learns that there is to be a synchronized diving contest. Time for a cash bet... (S2, E01) 
21:35Bad Education The American Alfie is shocked when Kevin Schwimer, an all-American Olympic medallist with a penchant for charitable deeds, arrives at the school and is given Alfie's Form K to teach! (S2, E02) 
22:10Bad Education The Funeral Abbey Grove is rocked by the news that Miss Pickwell is apparently dead and Alfie is left particularly on edge when her suicide note clearly lays the finger of blame on him. (S2, E03) 
22:50Bad Education Valentine's Day It is Valentine's Day and Mr Fraser has planned an Abbey Grove edition of Take Me Out. New deputy headmistress Professor Celia Green is rubbing everyone up the wrong way. (S2, E04) 
23:25Bad Education Drugs Mr Fraser has organised a guest speaker for Drugs Awareness Day, much to Rosie's annoyance. Alfie's class is alarmed by the news that Stephen's parents want him to leave Abbey Grove. (S2, E05) 
00:00Bad Education Fundraiser Abbey Grove is plunged into financial ruin when Mr Fraser gives the "Nigerian Minister of Finance" all their money. Rosie thinks it's time to move on - can Alfie save the day? (S2, E06) 
00:40Bad Education: Christmas Special Christmas Special When the class cannot decide on 'The Nutcracker' or 'Robocop' for the end of term Christmas play, Alfie writes 'Robocracker'! Will casting school bully Grayson prove wise? (S2, E07) 
01:10Amy Schumer Live: Mostly Sex Stuff Absolutely nothing is off limits for Amy Schumer, from her hilariously messed-up dating and sex life, to her encounters with unexpected body components and hate-filled personal grooming appointments! 
02:05Drunk History: Essential Episodes Comedians get drunk and teach us about history. Tonight Rob Beckett on Henry VIII, Kerry Howard talks Queen Victoria & Prince Albert, and James Acaster on The Black Death. (S1, E01) 
02:35Drunk History: Essential Episodes Comedians get drunk and teach us about history. Tonight Tom Rosenthal talks The Great Fire of London, Andrew Maxwell on Burke & Hare, and Rob Beckett on Queen Victoria's unwanted cheese. (S1, E02) 
03:05Impractical Jokers The guys share sad stories in the park, then share new video game ideas in a focus group, and head to the floral shop to stump each other. (S9, E18) 
03:25Russell Howard & Mum: USA... ...Road Trip: Russell and his mum head to one of the USA's most haunted cities: Savannah, Georgia. During their stay, the Howards are set for a whole host of paranormal activities. (S1, E04) 
03:50Epic Meal Empire A Play at the Plate When a minor league baseball team asks Epic Meal Empire for a meal, they respond with a ball park frank for the ages, the single biggest hot dog in hot dog history. (S1, E17) 
04:10Epic Meal Empire Poultry In Motion EME is enlisted to make a meal for the most badass ladies in town--a roller derby team. They construct the most badass chicken of all time: Atilla The Hen. (S1, E18) 
04:30Two And A Half Men Pilot Charlie is a successful jingle writer in Malibu. His decadent lifestyle turns upside down when his down on his luck brother Alan and his son Jake move in. (S1, E01) 
04:50Two And A Half Men Big Flappy B****rds Charlie finds that Jake doesn't always do as he is told and ends up with a house full of sea gulls. Judith confuses Alan when she initiates a kiss. (S1, E02) 
05:15Friends The One With The Stoned Guy Monica cooks a gourmet meal for a restaurateur looking for a new chef. However, there's one problem... he's a little "baked" himself. (S1, E15) 
05:35Friends The One With Two Parts (1): Joey falls for Phoebe's twin sister, making Phoebe feel neglected and Ross has doubts about parenthood when he attends Lamaze classes with Carol and Susan. (S1, E16) 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.