This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Saturday, March 24 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Middle Guess Who's Coming to Frozen Dinner Mike's wayward brother, Rusty, comes to town and presents Sue with an extravagant gift, which Mike thinks is stolen goods. (S9, E14) 
08:35Life In Pieces Will Trash Book Spa When Greg and Jen slip away for a couples massage, the afternoon doesn't turn out to be as relaxing as they expected. (S1, E14) 
09:00Friends: Season 8 The One With The Stripper Rachel tells her short-tempered father that she is pregnant with Ross' baby. Monica arranges to have a 'stripper' perform at Chandler's belated bachelor party. (S8, E08) 
09:30Friends: Season 8 The One With The Rumour Monica invites a high school friend, Will (Brad Pitt), to her Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel finds out that he and Ross started a mean rumour about her at school. (S8, E09) 
10:00Friends: Season 8 The One With Monica's Boots Phoebe finds out that Sting's son is in Ben's class, so she goes to see Sting's wife (real wife Trudie Styler) pretending to be Ben's mother. (S8, E10) 
10:30Friends: Season 8 The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. (S8, E11) 
11:00Friends: Season 8 The One Where Joey Dates Rachel Rachel feels she can't go on dates anymore due to her being pregnant, so Joey decides to take her on a date. (S8, E12) 
11:30Friends: Season 8 The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath Monica sways Chandler's dislike of baths but he soon becomes addicted to them. Meanwhile, Monica mistakenly tells Phoebe that Joey has a crush on her. (S8, E13) 
12:00Scrubs My Changing Ways The gang finish their residencies at Sacred Heart. J.D. finds a place of his own, Turk & Carla consider a family change and Elliot receives a job offer. Season 4 finale. (S4, E25) 
12:30Scrubs My Intern's Eyes Attending at Sacred Heart, J.D. now has to deal with his own interns, Elliot has trouble fitting in at her new hospital, and Turk's trying to get Carla pregnant. Or is he? (S5, E01) 
13:00Scrubs My Rite Of Passage J.D. wants to treat his interns well, but he finds out they laugh at his bad jokes out of fear. Cox needs a break from Jordan and orders her to find friends at work. (S5, E02) 
13:30Scrubs My Day at The Races Trying to complete a list of goals before his 30th birthday, J.D. signs up for a triathlon. Turk takes on a patient who wishes to be hypnotized during surgery. (S5, E03) 
14:00My Name Is Earl Very Bad Things Earl helps Joy try to get rid of a stolen delivery truck, which becomes harder when they discover that someone is still in the back of the truck! (S2, E01) 
14:30My Name Is Earl Jump for Joy Earl and Randy ask Catalina to return to the strip club, but they don't tell her that they need her to do it so that the club's owner (Burt Reynolds) will pay for Joy's bail. (S2, E02) 
15:00My Name Is Earl Sticks & Stones Earl makes up for teasing a mustached girl in school, and it forces him to confront his fear of taking his shirt off in public. (S2, E03) 
15:30My Name Is Earl Larceny of a Kitty Cat: Randy has a crush on the next woman on Earl's list, so he pretends to be a cat lover. Earl knows that this one will end badly. (S2, E04) 
16:00Friends: Season 8 The One With The Secret Closet Chandler becomes obsessed with finding out what is behind the door of Monica's secret closet. (S8, E14) 
16:30Friends: Season 8 The One With The Birthing Video Monica prepares a special Valentine's Day for Chandler which doesn't quite go to plan. Meanwhile, Joey ends up telling Ross about his feelings for Rachel. (S8, E15) 
17:00Friends: Season 8 The One Where Joey Tells Rachel The guys agree that Joey should tell Rachel about his feelings for her over dinner, regardless of the potential consequences. (S8, E16) 
17:30Friends: Season 8 The One With The Tea Leaves After studying tea leaves, Phoebe believes she will encounter the man of her dreams - and she soon meets a very handsome guy, Parker (Alec Baldwin). (S8, E17) 
18:00A Cinderella Story Film Routinely exploited by her wicked stepmother, the downtrodden Sam Montgomery (Hilary Duff) is excited about the prospect of meeting her Internet beau at the biggest school dance of the year. (2004) 
20:00Impractical Jokers In this season finale that's part salute-to-the-troops, part pre-recorded-challenges, the Jokers team up to give phony presentations about aviation and plant American flags onto shoppers. (S10, E26) 
21:00Mr. & Mrs. Smith Film John (Brad Pitt) & Jane Smith (Angelina Jolie) live a deceptively mundane existence. However, each has been hiding a secret from the other: they are assassins working for adversarial agencies. (2005) 
23:00New: Lip Sync Battle Bryshere Gray (Hakeem in "Empire") goes up against Rumer Willis (who features in season 3 of "Empire", and is the daughter of Bruce Willis & Demi Moore) in this "Empire" special. (S3, E18) 
23:30Eurotrip Film Lovelorn Ohio teen Scott Thomas goes on a quest across Europe (with some buddies) to find his sexy German pen pal, Mieke. The backpackers become embroiled in many farcical situations! (2004) 
03:30Takeshi's Castle Jonathan Ross narrates as a new host of hopefuls attempt to storm the castle but first they face a tumble in Star Bowling and a wobble in Bridge Ball. (S2, E09) 
04:00Most Ridiculous Sports Narrated by Radio 1 DJ Greg James, Most Ridiculous seeks out the stupidest and most insane videos to ever be found online. This episode focuses on sporting disasters. (S1, E01) 
04:25South Park T.M.I. After an embarrassing incident involving his penis, Cartman is sent to anger management and Randy tries his best to deal with the fallout but things just go from bad to worse. (S15, E04) 
04:50South Park Crack Baby Athletic Association Kyle discovers Cartman volunteering with crack babies at the local hospital and his suspicions are raised. What part does Slash (Guns n Roses) play in this? (S15, E05) 
05:15Two And A Half Men Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Ms. McMartin asks Walden and Alan if they would consider adopting a six-year-old boy named Louis. Walden tries very hard to make Louis feel at home... will they get on? (S12, E05) 
05:35Two And A Half Men Alan Shot a Little Girl Ms. McMartin approves Alan and Walden to foster Louis. It's not long before Louis tries to manipulate Alan to get what he wants - will Alan be the "cool" dad? (S12, E06) 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Scrubs My Jiggly Ball J.D. endeavours to find something nice to say about Dr. Kelso when he has to introduce him at a dinner. Janitor taunts J.D. with the made-up game of 'Jiggly Ball'. (S5, E04)