This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Saturday, December 16 2017

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Middle The 100th Mike and Frankie begrudgingly agree to drive a giant cow float in a parade as the town of Orson celebrates its 100th anniversary. Meanwhile, Sue tries to make Darrin jealous. (S5, E04) 
08:35The Middle The Jump Frankie adopts a dog after the family make fun of her, Sue shocks her parents by making the volleyball team, and Axl, about to flunk out of multiple classes, asks Brick for help. (S5, E06) 
09:00The Middle The daily mishaps of a married woman and her semi-dysfunctional family and their attempts to survive life in general, in the city of Orson, Indiana. 
09:30Life In Pieces Hospital Boudoir Time-Out Namaste When Jen cuts her finger and Greg takes her to the hospital, they finally have the first quality alone time they've had in months. (S1, E09) 
10:00Jingle All The Way 2 Film Larry's daughter wants only one thing for Christmas, a talking bear. His daughter's stepdad intends to make sure that Larry can't get one. Stars Larry the Cable Guy. (2014) 
11:54This is Comedy Central This is Comedy Central 
11:55My Wife And Kids Restaurant Wars At first, Michael is sceptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when rivals get sneaky. (S5, E08) 
12:25My Wife And Kids The Return of Bobby Shaw Michael's enemy, Bobby Shaw tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave. When Michael tries to get him out of the contract, they end up in a dance off. (S5, E09) 
12:55My Wife And Kids The Wedding Jr. and Vanessa's plan for a small, simple wedding get drowned out by Michael and Jay's lavish plans for the wedding of the century. (S5, E10) 
13:25My Wife And Kids Careful What You Wish For After Michael treats Jay horribly during a double date with Jr. and Vanessa who are still very much in love, Jay demands Michael be more attentive to her. (S5, E11) 
13:55Friends The One With The Monkey The gang makes, then breaks, a pact to celebrate New Year's Eve without dates. Ross compensates for his loneliness by getting a roommate... a monkey named Marcel. (S1, E10) 
14:25Friends The One With Phoebe's Dad Phoebe tries to track down her real father. Meanwhile, Ross asks Rachel to make a list of pros and cons about him. (S2, E09) 
14:55Friends The One Where Rachel Quits Ross accidentally breaks a girl's leg, and attempts to make it up to her by selling cookies so she can win a trip. (S3, E10) 
15:30Friends The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
16:00Friends The One With The Inappropriate Sister A bored Ross creates havoc in Joey and Chandler's lives, whilst Rachel is disturbed by her date's inappropriate relationship with his sister. (S5, E10) 
16:30Friends The One With All The Resolutions The friends all make New Year's resolutions, but Rachel's resolution to stop gossiping is becoming the hardest to keep. (S5, E11) 
17:00Friends The One With The Routine Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine on a New Year's Eve dance show. Ross and Monica resurrect their high school dance routine for the broadcast. (S6, E10) 
17:30Friends The One With The Holiday Armadillo Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10) 
18:00Friends The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. (S8, E11) 
18:30Friends The One With Christmas in Tulsa When Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa, Monica suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be joined by a beautiful co-worker, Wendy. (S9, E10) 
19:00Impractical Jokers Join Joe, Sal and Murr as they take a swing at Q's best and worst moments. Learn why he's the guy's guy of the group and why his dance moves are memorable for all the wrong reasons. (S1, E04) 
19:30Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes Inside Jokes packs classic, fan-favourite episodes of the show with shareable pop-up facts directly from the Jokers, giving viewers a unique and unprecedented look behind the curtain. (S1, E25) 
20:00White Chicks Film Two disgraced FBI agents go deep undercover in an effort to protect hotel heiresses the Wilson Sisters from a kidnapping plot. Outrageous comedy starring the Wayans brothers. (2004) 
22:05Jeff Dunham's Very Special... ...Christmas Special. Sensational ventriloquist, Jeff Dunham, and his collection of comedic characters, including Achmed The Dead Terrorist, delight sold-out crowds in this unique Christmas Special. 
23:05Kevin Hart Live: Laugh At My Pain Kevin Hart reveals his most sordid and personal affairs in this phenomenal stand up performance; from his twenty second 'stamina' to his showdown with Spongebob. 
00:05Russell Howard's Xmas Good News Russell picks his favourite bits from the seventh series. Tonight features; Boris Johnson, Obama, sexist pens, a tombstone vagina, a horse hairdresser, talking urinals, and a musical carrot. (S7, E12) 
01:00Impractical Jokers The Jokers must do what they are told at a public pool, and try to convince strangers to give the thumbs-up to their absurd e-mails. (S6, E12) 
01:30Impractical Jokers The guys work stadium security, conduct a crime investigation class, and return to the park to test their memory again. (S6, E13) 
02:00Rick and Morty Close Rick-Counters Of The Rick Kind Rick, falsely blamed for Murder by the council of Ricks, begins a cross-dimensional pursuit with the authorities while trying to prove his innocence. (S1, E10) 
02:30South Park 'Coon 2 - Rise of Captain Hindsight (1): The raccoon outfitted superhero, The 'Coon, returns. This time he's got friends! Will they be able to stop the evil BP and their drilling vessel? (S14, E11) 
03:00TripTank Gary gets pranked while hosting an important dinner, Versus pits a baby against a pack of wolves, and Steve fields awkward phone calls from his enitre family. (S2, E10) 
03:25Bob's Burgers Father of the Bob Bob and his dad, "Big Bob," try to outdo each other in the kitchen when they rehash an old argument. Meanwhile, the kids compete to find the best gift for their dad. (S5, E06) 
03:50Bob's Burgers Nice-Capades When a grumpy mall Santa threatens to put Tina, Gene, and Louise on the "Naughty List", they try to convince him that they are nice by putting on an Ice Capades-style musical. (S6, E05) 
04:15The Middle Thanksgiving V: Thanksgiving finds the Heck-household hoarding secrets. Sue and Frankie try to hide Frankie's outlandish behaviour, while Axl must find a way to tell his parents bad news. (S5, E07) 
04:35The Middle The Kiss When Frankie's sister asks her to house-sit, Frankie and Mike jump at the opportunity to have a romantic, kid-free weekend in an upscale home. Technology might just trump romance! (S5, E08) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.