This week's UK TV & radio

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Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday : Sunday : Monday

Listings for Paramount on Saturday, September 29 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Impractical Jokers The jokers work at a pawn shop, and try to give free hugs after incredibly bizarre apologies. This week's loser has to perform a song on stage. (S9, E24) 
08:35Impractical Jokers The guys interact with shoppers while wearing jingle vests, play another game of Don't I Know You?, and pass notes to strangers. (S9, E25) 
09:00Impractical Jokers The guys act as receptionists in a waiting room and ask strangers for advice about their personal dilemmas. Today's loser goes to a water aerobics class, but ends up drowning in shame. (S10, E01) 
09:30Impractical Jokers The guys play a game of "try not to laugh" using the infamous two-way mirror and compete with each other in a supermarket to see who can get a customer to try more samples. (S10, E02) 
10:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With The Candy Hearts Ross and his Valentine's Day date end up at the same restaurant as Susan and Carol. Inevitably, things don't go quite to plan. (S1, E14) 
10:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With The Prom Video Monica and Rachel's prom video reveals Monica's former girth, Rachel's former nose and the way Ross has always felt about Rachel. (S2, E14) 
11:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One Where Eddie Moves In Joey considers moving back in with Chandler, but Chandler has a new roommate. A record producer wants to make a music video for Phoebe's song, "Smelly Cat". (S2, E17) 
11:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One Where No One's Ready In a race against the clock, Ross tries to get the gang dressed and ready for a black-tie benefit at the museum. (S3, E02) 
12:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One Without The Ski Trip Ross and Rachel compete to spend time with their other friends. When a lonely Ross is excluded from Rachel's ski trip with her pals, he visits Carol. (S3, E17) 
12:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With The Jellyfish Ross dates Rachel again after unwittingly agreeing to take responsibility for their breakup. Meanwhile, Monica gets stung by a jellyfish. (S4, E01) 
13:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement which involves a massive decision for Phoebe. (S4, E11) 
13:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With Rachel's Crush Chandler has a hard time handling Kathy's new role in a play, in which she pretends to have sex with a handsome man, whilst Rachel is attracted to a customer. (S4, E13) 
14:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With All The Rugby Chandler runs into Janice, now divorced, and finds her more irritating than ever. Meanwhile, Ross plays rugby in an attempt to impress Emily. (S4, E15) 
14:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With Ross's Wedding (1): Most of the gang are in London for Ross' wedding. After talking with Phoebe, Rachel realizes she still loves Ross, resulting in a spontaneous decision...(S4, E23) 
15:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With Ross's Wedding (2): Phoebe tries to warn the gang that Rachel is coming to London to declare her love to Ross. Meanwhile, Ross and Emily's parents are quarrelling over money. (S4, E24) 
15:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With Ross's Sandwich Ross gets unusually upset when someone at work takes his sandwich from the refrigerator and eats it. (S5, E09) 
16:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One Where Everybody Finds Out Ross rents an apartment with a window facing Monica and Rachel's place. While checking out the apartment, Phoebe sees Monica and Chandler having sex. (S5, E14) 
16:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With The Cop After Phoebe finds a police badge, she uses it to do good deeds. That is until she meets the policeman who lost it. (S5, E16) 
17:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One Where Ross Got High On Thanksgiving, Chandler tries to gain favour with Monica's parents. However, an incident from his and Ross' college days hinders his efforts. (S6, E09) 
17:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With The Apothecary Table Janine (Elle Macpherson) forces Joey to choose between her and his friends. Rachel buys an apothecary table from a store that Phoebe hates. (S6, E11) 
18:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With Unagi Chandler and Monica agree to give each other homemade presents for their six-month anniversary and Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. (S6, E17) 
18:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One Where Rachel Tells... Chandler and Monica prepare to leave for their honeymoon as Rachel prepares to tell the father of her baby. (S8, E03) 
19:00Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One Where Ross is Fine Rachel, Joey and Charlie attend a dinner party at Ross' apartment, but they fear for his state of mind when he overindulges in wine, song and laughter. (S10, E02) 
19:30Friends: Nation's Favourite Quote The One With The Birth Mother Monica and Chandler travel to Ohio to meet a pregnant woman, Erica (Anna Farris), who is considering them to adopt her child when it's born. (S10, E09) 
20:00Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The jokers work at a pawn shop, and try to give free hugs after incredibly bizarre apologies. This week's loser has to perform a song on stage. (S9, E24) 
20:30Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes Who ended up paying for damages when Q smashed a display case during a challenge? And what awkward question was Murr asked by kids at a career day that didn't make it on camera? (S2, E18) 
21:00Romesh Ranganathan: Irrational The Bafta-nominated star performs his debut stand-up show and takes shots at everyone, from his kids to a stranger in a coffee shop. It's the perfect showcase for his acerbic take on the world. 
22:00Scary Movie 3 Film Reporter Cindy (Anna Farris) investigates crop circles and killer video tapes - plus helps the President (Leslie Nielsen) prevent an alien invasion! Charlie Sheen & Pamela Anderson also star. (2003) 
23:40Kevin Hart Live: Let Me Explain Recorded at the world famous Madison Square Garden, Hart once again spits out funny anecdotes, great catchphrases, and tackles what every man all too often struggles with - women and relationships! 
00:40Joel & Nish Vs The World Joel and Nish trek through the Andes with the Peruvian porters. They are on an arduous journey to meet the legendary Scissor Dancers but get more than they bargain for when they arrive. (S2, E01) 
01:40Impractical Jokers The guys take out the remote controlled chairs for a spin, team up to work at a virtual reality gaming centre, and attempt to blame strangers for unusual events. (S11, E06) 
02:10Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The guys interact with shoppers while wearing jingle vests, play another game of Don't I Know You?, and pass notes to strangers. (S9, E25) 
02:40South Park The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers The boys are dressed up in full 'Middle Earth' gear, and are sent on a quest by Randy to deliver a video to Butter's parents. (S6, E13) 
03:05Rick and Morty Auto Erotic Assimilation Rick, Morty and Summer stumble on a hive mind named Unity (Christina Hendricks) that Rick used to date, meanwhile Beth and Jerry are hard on each other. (S2, E03) 
03:30The Cleveland Show A Cleveland Brown Christmas Cleveland gets drunk as a Santa Claus and shatters Rallo's Christmas by telling him that his biological father is a deadbeat. (S1, E09) 
03:50The Cleveland Show Field of Streams Cleveland convinces Junior to play for the high school baseball team, but can't hide his embarrassment after he finds out that he is terrible. (S1, E10) 
04:15Scrubs My D?j? vu, My D?j? vu: J.D. starts to feel that the same things happen over and over again at Sacred Heart. Meanwhile, Turk annoys Carla by doing the things she cannot while pregnant. (S5, E22) 
04:35Scrubs My Urologist J.D. falls for an unscrupulous and self-centred surgeon, Dr. Kim Briggs (Elizabeth Banks). A hormonal Carla irritates Elliot when she meddles in her relationship with Keith. (S5, E23) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.