This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Saturday, December 14 2019

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Friends Christmas The One Where Rachel Quits Ross accidentally breaks a girl's leg, and attempts to make it up to her by selling cookies so she can win a trip. (S3, E10) 
08:35Friends Christmas The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
09:00Friends Christmas The One With The Inappropriate Sister A bored Ross creates havoc in Joey and Chandler's lives, whilst Rachel is disturbed by her date's inappropriate relationship with his sister. (S5, E10) 
09:30Friends Christmas The One With All The Resolutions The friends all make New Year's resolutions, but Rachel's resolution to stop gossiping is becoming the hardest to keep. (S5, E11) 
10:00Friends Christmas The One With The Routine Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine on a New Year's Eve dance show. Ross and Monica resurrect their high school dance routine for the broadcast. (S6, E10) 
10:30Jingle All The Way 2 Film Larry's daughter wants only one thing for Christmas, a talking bear. His daughter's stepdad intends to make sure that Larry can't get one. Stars Larry the Cable Guy. (2014) 
12:25Friends Christmas The One With The Holiday Armadillo Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10) 
13:00Friends Christmas The One With Ross' Step Forward: Ross freaks out when Mona wants to send out joint Christmas cards which leads to her wanting to have "the talk" about their relationship. (S8, E11) 
13:30Friends Christmas The One With Christmas in Tulsa When Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa, Monica suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be joined by a beautiful co-worker, Wendy. (S9, E10) 
14:00Friends The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding Part 1: Chandler gets the pre-wedding jitters and runs away. Meanwhile, Phoebe finds a positive pregnancy test and assumes it's Monica's. (S7, E23) 
14:30Friends The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding Part 2: Monica remains unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day. Meanwhile, Joey's drunk co-star could make him miss the nuptials. (S7, E24) 
15:00Friends The One After "I Do": Everybody thinks Monica's pregnant, but her denial quickly shifts the focus to Phoebe, thereby taking the heat off of a nervous Rachel. (S8, E01) 
15:30Friends The One With The Red Sweater Rachel won't tell anybody who the father is until she tells him. Meanwhile, Joey mistakenly thinks Phoebe is pregnant and makes a gallant gesture. (S8, E02) 
16:00Friends The One Where Rachel Tells... Chandler and Monica prepare to leave for their honeymoon as Rachel prepares to tell the father of her baby. (S8, E03) 
16:30Friends The One With The Video Tape Ross and Rachel disagree over who came onto whom when they hooked up. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler meet another couple while on their honeymoon. (S8, E04) 
17:00Scrooged Film The Bill Murray classic where he plays a selfish, cynical television executive who's haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve. Karen Allen and Bobcat Goldthwait co-star. (1988) 
19:00Friends The One With Rachel's Date Ross is horrified to learn that Rachel is going on a date with a handsome actor, Kash, especially since she is pregnant with his child. (S8, E05) 
19:30Friends The One With The Halloween Party At Monica and Chandler's Halloween party Phoebe runs into her sister's fiance, Eric (Sean Penn), and finds herself attracted to him. (S8, E06) 
20:00Friends The One With The Stain Chandler hires a maid to help Monica but she thinks the maid is stealing her clothes. Meanwhile, Eric (Sean Penn) breaks up with Ursula and wants to date Phoebe. (S8, E07) 
20:30Friends The One With The Stripper Rachel tells her short-tempered father that she is pregnant with Ross' baby. Monica arranges to have a 'stripper' perform at Chandler's belated bachelor party. (S8, E08) 
21:00Friends The One With The Rumour Monica invites a high school friend, Will (Brad Pitt), to her Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel finds out that he and Ross started a mean rumour about her at school. (S8, E09) 
21:30Friends The One With Monica's Boots Phoebe finds out that Sting's son is in Ben's class, so she goes to see Sting's wife (real wife Trudie Styler) pretending to be Ben's mother. (S8, E10) 
22:00Final Destination 2 Film When Kimberly has a violent premonition of a highway pileup she blocks the freeway, keeping a few others meant to die, safe...Or are they? The survivors mysteriously start dying... (2003) 
23:50South Park: Totally Outrageous Stupid Spoiled ***** Video Playset: Paris Hilton opens a store in South Park, corrupting the town's girls in the process. It's up to Mr Slave to put things right - time for a "***** off!" (S8, E12) 
00:20South Park: Totally Outrageous Ginger Kids After giving a hate speech against 'the gingers', Cartman awakens the next day with a case of 'Gingervitus' and soon rallies against the persecution of his fellow red heads. (S9, E11) 
00:50South Park: Totally Outrageous Bloody Mary Randy is arrested for drunk driving and must attend AA, where he is told he is powerless to control himself. Maybe the bleeding Virgin Mary statue can perform a miracle or two? (S9, E14) 
01:20South Park: Totally Outrageous More Cr*p Inadvertently, Randy breaks the world record for the 'biggest cr*p'! Bono, the previous holder, is determined to regain his crown - but he has a dark secret which may stop him. (S11, E09) 
01:50South Park: Totally Outrageous Britney's New Look The media circus arrives in South Park as Britney Spears hides in the town. After a photo of her urinating on a ladybug sells for $100,000 the boys have a brain wave. (S12, E02) 
02:20South Park: Totally Outrageous The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs Butters gets the blame, and then the glory, after the boys write a book intended to be horribly rude but which is hailed as genius. Murder is the answer! (S14, E02) 
02:50South Park: Totally Outrageous HumancetiPad After failing to read the small print in a contract Kyle is kidnapped by Apple, who have big plans in store for him. It's left up to the boys to rescue him from Steve Jobs. (S15, E01) 
03:10South Park: Totally Outrageous Kenny Dies When Kenny is diagnosed with a terminal illness, Stan takes it especially hard. Will Cartman's truck load of foetuses help with a cure? Or does he have other plans for them... (S5, E13) 
03:35Russell Howard's Xmas Good News Russell picks his favourite bits from the seventh series. Tonight features; Boris Johnson, Obama, sexist pens, a tombstone vagina, a horse hairdresser, talking urinals, and a musical carrot. (S7, E12) 
04:20Impractical Jokers The guys compete in a 4-way job-exchanging challenge, and then record people's conversations for strange reasons. (S11, E11) 
04:40Impractical Jokers The guys, posing as waiters, offer ridiculous specials to customers, and team up at a house-keeping job, doing and saying whatever the other guys tell them. (S11, E13) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.