This week's UK TV & radio

Congratulations on being true to the origins of web browsing. These fancy new browsers supporting web standards, such as CSS, just detract from the pure accessibility goodness of this site.

Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday : Sunday : Monday

Listings for Paramount on Thursday, October 18 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00My Wife And Kids They Call Me El Foosay Vanessa buys Junior a foosball table. Michael beats him in a game and becomes obsessed with it. They all get sick of Michael's actions and propose a plan. (S5, E12) 
08:35My Wife And Kids Study Buddy Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final. He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. (S5, E13) 
09:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Breaking Up is Hard to Do (Part 2): Will, Carlton, Ashley and Hilary take drastic measures to get Phil and Vivian to reconcile. (S6, E15) 
09:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air I, Bowl Buster Carlton is anxious that he will never be able to live up to the kind of achievements that Phil made when he attended Princeton. So he decides to become a professional bowler. (S6, E16) 
10:00Scrubs My Princess Dr. Cox weaves a bedtime fairy tale for his son. Starring Princess Elliot, the Janitor as the Giant, Turk & Carla are a two-headed witch, and J.D. as the village Idiot. (S7, E11) 
10:30Scrubs My Jerks The sexy but unethical Dr. Maddox (Courteney Cox) shakes things up at Sacred Heart, J.D. struggles to teach the new interns, and Carla helps Elliot put her ego in check. (S8, E01) 
11:00Friends: Season 3 The One The Morning After (2): When Rachel discovers that Ross slept with Chloe, she decides to break up with him. Second of a two-part episode. (S3, E16) 
11:30Friends: Season 3 The One Without The Ski Trip Ross and Rachel compete to spend time with their other friends. When a lonely Ross is excluded from Rachel's ski trip with her pals, he visits Carol. (S3, E17) 
12:00Friends: Season 3 The One With The Hypnosis Tape Monica gets a tip from an admirer worth a small fortune. Meanwhile, a hypnosis tape makes Chandler act like a woman. Guest starring Jon Favreau. (S3, E18) 
12:30Friends: Season 3 The One With The Tiny T-Shirt Rachel goes on her first date since her breakup with Ross. Monica dates Pete the billionaire, even though she is still not attracted to him. (S3, E19) 
13:00Gilmore Girls The Long Morrow Picking up on the day after last season's finale, Lorelai wakes up in bed with Christopher. Confused and mortified, she makes a hasty exit, ignoring his pleas that she stay. (S7, E01) 
14:00Friends: Season 3 The One With The Dollhouse Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel and Monica inherits a dollhouse. (S3, E20) 
14:30Friends: Season 3 The One With A Chick And A Duck When Pete buys a restaurant, Monica must decide whether to accept his offer of employment there. Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler adopt a duck and a chick. (S3, E21) 
15:00Friends: Season 3 The One With The Screamer Ross thinks that Rachel's date (Ben Stiller) is crazy. Joey falls in love with Kate, but when she's offered a job in Los Angeles, she takes it. (S3, E22) 
15:30Friends: Season 3 The One With Ross's Thing Ross finds a strange growth on his buttocks and Phoebe can't choose between two guys. Meanwhile, Monica's boyfriend surprises her by not proposing...(S3, E23) 
16:00Impractical Jokers: Season 1 Hidden camera practical joke show. The guys steal food from customers' plates, teach languages that they don't speak, & dance with strangers at the park. (S1, E07) 
16:30Impractical Jokers: Season 1 Hidden camera practical joke show that follows the comedy troupe The Tenderloins. The guys pose as bakery salesmen, focus group analysts, shoe salesmen, and teach classes at a local gym. (S1, E08) 
17:00Friends: Season 3 The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champion Phoebe sets Ross up on a date with a woman who used to be bald. Robin Williams and Billy Crystal guest star. (S3, E24) 
17:30Friends: Season 3 The One At The Beach The gang goes to the beach. Phoebe meets a family friend with links to her family's past and Ross discovers that Rachel still loves him. (S3, E25) 
18:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The Jellyfish Ross dates Rachel again after unwittingly agreeing to take responsibility for their breakup. Meanwhile, Monica gets stung by a jellyfish. (S4, E01) 
18:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Cat Phoebe believes that the cat that jumped into her guitar case in Central Perk contains the spirit of her adoptive mum. (S4, E02) 
19:00Friends: Season 4 The One With The 'Cuffs: Monica tries to prove that she can cater a gourmet meal for her mother. Meanwhile, Chandler gets into an embarrassing situation while dating Rachel's boss. (S4, E03) 
19:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Ballroom Dancing Joey teaches the building superintendent ballroom dancing in order to prevent him from evicting Rachel and Monica. (S4, E04) 
20:00Friends: Season 4 The One With Joey's New Girlfriend Joey thinks that Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend, Kathy. However, little does he know, it's exactly the opposite. (S4, E05) 
20:30Friends: Season 4 The One With The Dirty Girl Ross's new girlfriend seems nearly perfect until he discovers that her apartment is incredibly dirty. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend. (S4, E06) 
21:00Impractical Jokers The guys compete head-to-head selling their toys to focus groups, team up attaching clothes pins to unsuspecting shoppers, and play a game of touching laser pointer dots. (S11, E08) 
21:30Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes Which Joker was almost pushed into the street while in a portable toilet? Who lived down the hall from a future NBA star in college? And where did the term "hipster" come from? (S2, E20) 
22:00New: South Park The boys are back as South Park returns with brand new episodes, exclusive to Comedy Central! Season 22 sees the unrivalled comedy still as crude, rude and relevant as ever 
22:30New: Gary And His Demons Fleshler '99 / Gary Goes Home: Gary finds out that a demon named Fleshler might still be alive. Then Gary goes home and must confront a horror unlike any other - a family dinner. (S1, E02) 
23:00Roast Battle Hosted by Jimmy Carr, with judges Jonathan Ross and Katherine Ryan. Featuring Daniel Sloss vs. Phil Wang, and Alfie Brown vs. Jessie Cave. (S2, E02) 
23:30Rob Delaney's Stand Up Central Rob Delaney hosts Britain's best stand-up, live from the Electric Ballroom. This week Sara Pascoe headlines with support from Tom Ward. (S1, E02) 
00:00Impractical Jokers: Season 1 Hidden camera practical joke show. The guys steal food from customers' plates, teach languages that they don't speak, & dance with strangers at the park. (S1, E07) 
00:30Impractical Jokers: Season 1 Hidden camera practical joke show that follows the comedy troupe The Tenderloins. The guys pose as bakery salesmen, focus group analysts, shoe salesmen, and teach classes at a local gym. (S1, E08) 
01:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Breaking Up is Hard to Do (Part 2): Will, Carlton, Ashley and Hilary take drastic measures to get Phil and Vivian to reconcile. (S6, E15) 
01:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air I, Bowl Buster Carlton is anxious that he will never be able to live up to the kind of achievements that Phil made when he attended Princeton. So he decides to become a professional bowler. (S6, E16) 
02:00South Park The Biggest Douche in the Universe Cartman is rushed to hospital after again being possessed by Kenny. Chef believes a TV psychic can help but Stan isn't so sure... (S6, E15) 
02:30South Park My Future Self 'n' Me: After meeting his failed self from the future, Stan decides to avoid drink and drugs - but why does Butters also have a good-for-nothing future self staying with him? (S6, E16) 
03:00South Park Cancelled The boys get a sense of deja vu as Cartman again has an anal probe, but they soon realise they're actually stuck in some kind of re-run - Earth is just a reality show for aliens! (S7, E01) 
03:25The Cleveland Show Gone with the Wind Donna becomes angry when Cleveland experiences unexpected grief at his ex-wife Loretta's funeral. (S1, E17) 
03:50New: The Daily Show Brand new and exclusive. Joining Trevor tonight is former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Juli?n Castro, talking about his new book "An Unlikely Journey: Waking up from my American Dream". 
04:15Malcolm In The Middle Army Buddy Reese is visited by an Army buddy who develops a crush on Lois. Hal starts feeling useless when Lois buys orthotics and no longer needs his tender loving care. (S7, E08) 
04:35Malcolm In The Middle Malcolm Defends Reese When Malcolm's arch nemesis and former teacher, Mr. Herkabe, crosses the line and hurts Reese's feelings one time too many, it's time for payback. (S7, E09) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.