This week's UK TV & radio

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Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday

Listings for Paramount on Saturday, March 17 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Middle Mommapalooza Frankie decides she needs to find a new passion in her life. Meanwhile, Mike orders Sue and Brick to fix the giant hole between their bedroom walls. (S9, E13) 
08:35Life In Pieces Party Lobster Gym Sale Greg joins Colleen's gym and goes overboard gearing up to work out. Tyler and Samantha throw a party while Heather and Tim are away for the weekend. (S1, E13) 
09:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Phoebe's Cookies Monica becomes obsessed with obtaining Phoebe's secret cookie recipe. Meanwhile, whilst trying to bond, Chandler accidentally gives Monica's dad a lap dance. (S7, E03) 
09:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Rachel's Assistant Rachel wants to hire a cute, young male assistant over a more qualified woman. Meanwhile, Joey's show gets cancelled. (S7, E04) 
10:00Friends: Season 7 The One With The Engagement Picture Joey teaches Chandler how to smile for an engagement picture with Monica. Phoebe and Ross each date the members of a couple preparing for divorce. (S7, E05) 
10:30Friends: Season 7 The One With The Nap Partners Joey and Ross accidentally take a nap together and much to their dismay, find that they like it. Phoebe and Rachel compete to be Monica's maid of honour. (S7, E06) 
11:00Scrubs My Lucky Charm A man (Colin Farrell) injured in a bar fight teaches Turk and J.D. a lesson about living life to the fullest. Also, Dr Cox gets a vasectomy behind Jordan's back. (S4, E14) 
11:30Scrubs My Hypocritical Oath J.D. becomes attracted to a bartender but discovers her new boyfriend has an STD. Dr. Cox anxiously awaits the Lakers game but must tape it to watch after his shift. (S4, E15) 
12:00Scrubs My Quarantine J.D. takes Kylie out on their first date, but all does not go according to plan and they end up at the Sacred Heart Hospital trapped in quarantine. Tara Reid guest stars. (S4, E16) 
12:30Scrubs My Life In Four Cameras The discovery that his patient is a comedy writer tips J.D. into a sitcom fantasy, complete with the dreaded laughter track. Have Turk and Carla lost the romance? (S4, E17) 
13:00My Name Is Earl Stole P's HD Cart Earl returns a hot dog cart which he once stole to its rightful owner. However his buddy Ralph manages to set it on fire, forcing Earl and his 'gang' to make things right. (S1, E13) 
13:30My Name Is Earl Monkeys in Space Earl must work fast to give an old friend a perfect day, before he's shipped off to the state penitentiary. Unfortunately, Hank has a rather odd list of requests. (S1, E14) 
14:00My Name Is Earl Y2K When Earl tries to return a take-a-number machine to a department store, it triggers memories of when the gang moved into the department store on 1/1/2000. (S1, E19) 
14:30My Name Is Earl Boogeyman When Earl decides to cross off "made a kid scared of the boogeyman" from his list, he discovers just what kind of lasting affect he had on the little boy. (S1, E20) 
15:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Ross's Library Book Ross discovers that his dissertation is in a section of the library where students go to have "relations". (S7, E07) 
15:30Friends: Season 7 The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs Chandler's irrational fear of dogs causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute canine. (S7, E08) 
16:00Friends: Season 7 The One With All The Candy Monica becomes popular with her neighbours because of her homemade candy. Meanwhile, Ross teaches Phoebe how to ride a bike... literally. (S7, E09) 
16:30Friends: Season 7 The One With All The Cheesecakes Chandler and Rachel can't help eating the irresistible cheesecakes that are meant for a neighbour. (S7, E11) 
17:00Friends: Season 7 The One Where They're Up All Night After the gang head to the roof to see a passing comet, separate events unfold that lead to all of them having a sleepless night. (S7, E12) 
17:30Friends: Season 7 The One Where Rosita Dies Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (Jason Alexander). Meanwhile, Rachel and Chandler both think they've broken Rosita, Joey's recliner. (S7, E13) 
18:00Friends: Season 7 The One Where They All Turn Thirty Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th celebrations. (S7, E14) 
18:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Joey's New Brain Joey learns that his character in his daytime drama is about to gain prominence at the expense of the show's diva star (Susan Sarandon). (S7, E15) 
19:00Friends: Season 7 The One With The Truth About London Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is angry after Rachel teaches Ben practical jokes. (S7, E16) 
19:30Friends: Season 7 The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Meanwhile, Joey and Ross fight over the same girl and go to drastic measures to win. (S7, E17) 
20:00Impractical Jokers The guys show who's boss while working the counter at a fast-food restaurant, whisper sweet nothings to strangers, and this week's punishment involves a cow! (S9, E14) 
20:30Impractical Jokers: Inside Jokes Which Jokers are big pro wrestling fans? How long did it take Joe to recover from his sumo punishment? Go behind the scenes with Murr, Q, Sal and Joe to find out! (S2, E06) 
21:00Michael McIntyre: Showtime Live McIntyre returns on top form with razor sharp observations and has the crowd in stitches with talk his wife will not be happy with! Legendary British stand up! Recorded at the O2 in London. 
22:00Live At The Apollo Ventriloquist Nina Conti is our host tonight at The Apollo. Joining her are Irishman Jimeoin and Rob Beckett. (S9, E06) 
23:00New: Lip Sync Battle Matt McGorry (John Bennett in "Orange Is the New Black") goes head-to-head with Bellamy Young (President Melody "Mellie" Grant in "Scandal") - featuring songs by Lady Gaga and Fifth Harmony. (S3, E17) 
23:30The Chris Ramsey Show Chris Ramsey is joined in his basment by Made In Chelsea's Georgia 'Toff' Toffolo and comedian Matt Richardson; for daft games, ludicrous challenges, and physical feats! (S2, E03) 
00:00Bruno Film A flamboyant Austrian fashionista travels to the United States, where he hopes to launch a celebrity interview show. Br?no (Sacha Baron Cohen) sparks one outrageous situation after another. (2009) 
01:40Takeshi's Castle It's muddy, it's manic, it's Takeshi's Castle. One hundred new recruits face the head bashing Knock Knock and the Human Velcro before attempting the Final Fall. Jonathan Ross narrates. (S2, E08) 
02:05Impractical Jokers The guys survey employees about customer satisfaction, and go cloud watching with strangers. The loser poses as an artist presenting a town mural to its residents that says "DOVER SUCKS". (S10, E25) 
02:35South Park Fishsticks Jimmy is angry that Cartman tries to take credit for a joke he created that is now sweeping the nation. But an angry Kanye West just can't get his head around the punch line. (S13, E05) 
03:00South Park Pinewood Derby Randy and Stan somehow discover warp speed, allowing Earth to join the Galactic Federation of Planets, but will an alien gangster and his 'space cash' ruin everything? (S13, E06) 
03:25The Cleveland Show Brownsized With the promise of six-months severance pay (in exchange for everyone else losing their health benefits), Cleveland deep-sixes his job. (S4, E11) 
03:50The Cleveland Show Pins, Spins and Fins! (Shark Story Cut for Time): Rallo's ego rolls out of control when he thinks he is an ace bowler because he keeps throwing strikes with help from the gutter rails. (S4, E12) 
04:15Two And A Half Men Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants When Walden takes Alan along to a charity fundraiser, Alan is gob-smacked to meet 'Wonder Woman' Lynda Carter! Will Walden set them up together...? (S11, E06) 
04:35Two And A Half Men Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie The guys meet two smokin' hot ladies in a bar and have a great night but when they plan to meet them again it brings out the green-eyed monster in Lyndsey. (S11, E07) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.