This week's UK TV & radio

Congratulations on being true to the origins of web browsing. These fancy new browsers supporting web standards, such as CSS, just detract from the pure accessibility goodness of this site.

Thursday : Friday : Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday

Listings for Paramount on Thursday, December 12 2019

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00Will & Grace Bacon and Eggs While Will and Grace wait for the right colour to appear on their home pregnancy test, Grace is visited by a handsome doctor who makes her a tempting offer. (S5, E02) 
08:35Will & Grace The Kid Stays Out of the Picture Grace is so entranced by her budding romance with a doctor that she asks Will for an extra month to re-consider her commitment to artificial insemination. (S5, E03) 
09:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Boxing Helena Will encounters a boxing instructor - who teaches him a thing or two about female boxers. Meanwhile, Carlton feels threatened by his personal trainer. (S6, E12) 
09:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air I, Clownius A man in a clown suit takes Phil, Will, and Carlton hostage - and if Phil does not cooperate (help him get a big break on TV), he will detonate a bomb! (S6, E13) 
10:00Impractical Jokers The guys must do and say with what they're told to while working at the Universal Orlando location of "Fast & Furious: Supercharged", where every single refusal counts as a thumbs down. (S11, E17) 
10:30Impractical Jokers The guys try to get strangers to follow them to a made up basement, try to get customers to call out a ridiculous nickname, and try to get a stranger to agree with their silly life lessons. (S11, E18) 
11:00Christmas Makes You LOL Compilation show featuring the most hilarious and outrageous Christmas-based clips. 
12:00Friends The One After "I Do": Everybody thinks Monica's pregnant, but her denial quickly shifts the focus to Phoebe, thereby taking the heat off of a nervous Rachel. (S8, E01) 
12:30Friends The One With The Red Sweater Rachel won't tell anybody who the father is until she tells him. Meanwhile, Joey mistakenly thinks Phoebe is pregnant and makes a gallant gesture. (S8, E02) 
13:00Friends The One Where Rachel Tells... Chandler and Monica prepare to leave for their honeymoon as Rachel prepares to tell the father of her baby. (S8, E03) 
13:30Friends The One With The Video Tape Ross and Rachel disagree over who came onto whom when they hooked up. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler meet another couple while on their honeymoon. (S8, E04) 
14:00Friends The One With Rachel's Date Ross is horrified to learn that Rachel is going on a date with a handsome actor, Kash, especially since she is pregnant with his child. (S8, E05) 
14:30Friends The One With The Halloween Party At Monica and Chandler's Halloween party Phoebe runs into her sister's fiance, Eric (Sean Penn), and finds herself attracted to him. (S8, E06) 
15:00Friends The One With The Stain Chandler hires a maid to help Monica but she thinks the maid is stealing her clothes. Meanwhile, Eric (Sean Penn) breaks up with Ursula and wants to date Phoebe. (S8, E07) 
15:30Friends The One With The Stripper Rachel tells her short-tempered father that she is pregnant with Ross' baby. Monica arranges to have a 'stripper' perform at Chandler's belated bachelor party. (S8, E08) 
16:00Friends The One With The Rumour Monica invites a high school friend, Will (Brad Pitt), to her Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel finds out that he and Ross started a mean rumour about her at school. (S8, E09) 
16:30Friends The One With Monica's Boots Phoebe finds out that Sting's son is in Ben's class, so she goes to see Sting's wife (real wife Trudie Styler) pretending to be Ben's mother. (S8, E10) 
17:00Fresh Off The Boat Week In Review When Eddie comes home with lice and infects others in the family, Louis leaves it to Jessica to clean up the mess. Eddie tries to back out of a bet he made with his teacher. (S2, E18) 
17:30Fresh Off The Boat Doing It Right Louis prepares his secret-recipe chili for the North Orlando Chili Cook-Off, where he will face five-time winner, Marvin. He asks Eddie to be his apprentice. (S2, E17) 
18:00Friends The One Where Joey Dates Rachel Rachel feels she can't go on dates anymore due to her being pregnant, so Joey decides to take her on a date. (S8, E12) 
18:30Friends The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath Monica sways Chandler's dislike of baths but he soon becomes addicted to them. Meanwhile, Monica mistakenly tells Phoebe that Joey has a crush on her. (S8, E13) 
19:00Friends Christmas The One With All The Resolutions The friends all make New Year's resolutions, but Rachel's resolution to stop gossiping is becoming the hardest to keep. (S5, E11) 
19:30Friends Christmas The One With The Routine Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine on a New Year's Eve dance show. Ross and Monica resurrect their high school dance routine for the broadcast. (S6, E10) 
20:00Friends Christmas The One With The Holiday Armadillo Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10) 
20:30Friends Christmas The One With Christmas in Tulsa When Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa, Monica suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be joined by a beautiful co-worker, Wendy. (S9, E10) 
21:00Lee Evans Live At Her Majesty's... ...Theatre. Lee Evans delivers a wealth of classics including his "How To Be a Comic" self-help vinyl and the mumble your wife makes just after an argument. This award-winner is where it all began! 
22:15South Park: Totally Outrageous Stupid Spoiled ***** Video Playset: Paris Hilton opens a store in South Park, corrupting the town's girls in the process. It's up to Mr Slave to put things right - time for a "***** off!" (S8, E12) 
22:45South Park: Totally Outrageous Ginger Kids After giving a hate speech against 'the gingers', Cartman awakens the next day with a case of 'Gingervitus' and soon rallies against the persecution of his fellow red heads. (S9, E11) 
23:10South Park: Totally Outrageous Bloody Mary Randy is arrested for drunk driving and must attend AA, where he is told he is powerless to control himself. Maybe the bleeding Virgin Mary statue can perform a miracle or two? (S9, E14) 
23:45South Park: Totally Outrageous More Cr*p Inadvertently, Randy breaks the world record for the 'biggest cr*p'! Bono, the previous holder, is determined to regain his crown - but he has a dark secret which may stop him. (S11, E09) 
00:10South Park: Totally Outrageous Britney's New Look The media circus arrives in South Park as Britney Spears hides in the town. After a photo of her urinating on a ladybug sells for $100,000 the boys have a brain wave. (S12, E02) 
00:45South Park: Totally Outrageous The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs Butters gets the blame, and then the glory, after the boys write a book intended to be horribly rude but which is hailed as genius. Murder is the answer! (S14, E02) 
01:10South Park: Totally Outrageous HumancetiPad After failing to read the small print in a contract Kyle is kidnapped by Apple, who have big plans in store for him. It's left up to the boys to rescue him from Steve Jobs. (S15, E01) 
01:40South Park Basic Cable Scott Malkinson's hopes of romance with new girl Sophie depend on him getting the latest, greatest streaming platform. (S23, E09) 
02:10Russell Howard's Xmas Good News Russell takes a cheeky trawl through the news. It's a round-up of this season's best bits and some special Xmas features including Russell's childhood hero special guest! (S5, E08) 
03:05New: The Daily Show Brand new. Joining Trevor tonight is Lupita Nyong'o (Adelaide Wilson / Red in "Us"), talking about her role as Maz Kanata in "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" and her new children's book "Sulwe". 
03:30RuPaul's Drag Race Holi-Slay... ...Spectacular. Latrice Royale, Shangela, Kim Chi and other fan favorites vie for the title of Drag Race Xmas Queen in this holiday special. It's a Christmas miracle! 
04:15Impractical Jokers The guys get strangers to help them fix their broken bike, and do and say whatever they are told. Later, they get strangers to approve some strange e-mails written by the other guys. (S11, E19) 
04:35Impractical Jokers The guys Greek out while lending a hand at a restaurant and then compete head-to-head answering questions in a focus group. The loser is forced to spend a day locked in a den at the zoo. (S11, E20) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.