This week's UK TV & radio

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Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday : Sunday

Listings for Paramount on Monday, December 18 2017

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00The Middle: Christmas The Christmas Tree When Axl comes home from college for Christmas vacation there's trouble. Meanwhile, Sue has a severe allergic reaction to the Christmas tree - could Christmas be ruined? (S5, E09) 
08:35The Middle: Christmas The Christmas Wall Feeling unappreciated, Frankie decides on minimalist Christmas decorations this year. Meanwhile, thinking of Sue's allergies, Mike tries to purchase an artificial tree. (S6, E09) 
09:00The Middle: Christmas No Silent Night When the Hecks decide to stay home on Christmas Eve and watch a mass on TV, an unexpected series of events occur. (S7, E10) 
09:30The Middle: Christmas A Very Marry Christmas Sue keeps a holiday secret from the family. Meanwhile, Brick agrees to watch three kids, but soon regrets it. (S8, E09) 
10:00Friends The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
10:30Friends The One With Phoebe's Uterus Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement which involves a massive decision for Phoebe. (S4, E11) 
11:00Friends The One With The Embryos Phoebe undergoes an embryo transplant and becomes pregnant. Meanwhile, a simple challenge escalates into a full blown contest between the guys and the girls. (S4, E12) 
11:30Friends The One With Rachel's Crush Chandler has a hard time handling Kathy's new role in a play, in which she pretends to have sex with a handsome man, whilst Rachel is attracted to a customer. (S4, E13) 
12:00Friends The One With Joey's Dirty Day Joey has no time to shower after he comes home from a three-day fishing trip and has to head out to the set of Charlton Heston's new movie. (S4, E14) 
12:30Friends The One With All The Rugby Chandler runs into Janice, now divorced, and finds her more irritating than ever. Meanwhile, Ross plays rugby in an attempt to impress Emily. (S4, E15) 
13:00Impractical Jokers Joe, Sal, Murr, and Q hit the supermarket to mess with shoppers in an epic game of Hide-and-Sneak, the guys draw straws at a BBQ joint, and tonight's loser gets a bad case of stage fright. (S7, E04) 
13:30Impractical Jokers The guys work the register at a burger restaurant before taking their fun to a department store. Later, the loser faces their fears in a terrifying elevator ride. (S7, E05) 
14:00Friends The One With The Fake Party Rachel throws Emily a fake going away party so she can see Joshua outside of work. Meanwhile, Phoebe's pregnancy cravings kick in as she longs for meat. (S4, E16) 
14:30Friends The One With The Free Porn The guys realise their TV is picking up a porno station for free, and Phoebe discovers she's carrying triplets. (S4, E17) 
15:00Friends The One With Rachel's New Dress Phoebe gets to name one of her babies which leads to Joey telling Chandler that he has a terrible name. Rachel's plan to seduce her boyfriend goes awry. (S4, E18) 
15:30Friends The One With All The Haste Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys. Meanwhile, Ross spontaneously pops the question to Emily. (S4, E19) 
16:00My Wife And Kids The Remodel Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodelled. (S5, E18) 
16:30My Wife And Kids Michael Joins a Gym The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favourite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews). (S5, E19) 
17:00Friends The One With All The Wedding Dresses Monica has an aspirational phase of wearing Emily's wedding dress. Meanwhile, Chandler forces Joey to get treatment for his snoring at a sleep clinic. (S4, E20) 
17:30Friends The One With The Invitation The friends get invitations to Ross's wedding, but not all of them are going. Ross and Rachel reminisce separately about when they dated each other. (S4, E21) 
18:00Friends The One With The Worst Best Man Ever After Joey almost loses Ross' wedding ring, Ross asks both Joey and Chandler to be his best man. Meanwhile, the girls host a baby shower for Phoebe. (S4, E22) 
18:30Friends The One With Ross's Wedding (1): Most of the gang are in London for Ross' wedding. After talking with Phoebe, Rachel realizes she still loves Ross, resulting in a spontaneous decision...(S4, E23) 
19:00Friends: Christmas The One With The Monkey The gang makes, then breaks, a pact to celebrate New Year's Eve without dates. Ross compensates for his loneliness by getting a roommate... a monkey named Marcel. (S1, E10) 
19:30Friends: Christmas The One With Phoebe's Dad Phoebe tries to track down her real father. Meanwhile, Ross asks Rachel to make a list of pros and cons about him. (S2, E09) 
20:00Friends: Christmas The One Where Rachel Quits Ross accidentally breaks a girl's leg, and attempts to make it up to her by selling cookies so she can win a trip. (S3, E10) 
20:30Friends: Christmas The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Meanwhile, Monica conjures a scheme to establish authority at her new restaurant job. (S4, E10) 
21:00Russell Howard's Xmas Good News Russell takes a cheeky trawl through the news. It's a round-up of this season's best bits and some special Xmas features including Russell's childhood hero special guest! (S5, E08) 
22:00New: Impractical Jokers... ...Christmas Special: Sal, Q, Murr and Joe revisit incredible show moments, showcasing their favorite "toys" and spending quality time at the mall. Plus, a special gift from the guys... 
22:30New: Say Whaaat? A hilarious new improv show in which comedy stars dub over secretly-filmed footage of real people - featuring Q, Sal, Joe, and Murr, Russell Kane, and host Jayde Adams. 
23:00Da Ali G Show Ali interviews John Humphrys, presents his home shopping channel, QVG, and helps Travis give 'Why Does It Always Rain on Me?' an urban twist, while Borat learns about British comedy. (S1, E05) 
23:35Takeshi's Castle It's muddy, it's manic, it's Takeshi's Castle. One hundred new recruits face the swinging Human Velcro and the bonkers Knock Knock before taking on the Final Fall and attack the castle. (S1, E08) 
00:00New: The Funny Thing About... ...Christmas. Johnny Vegas illuminates the minefield of Christmas rituals and traditions. Is it a fortnight of goodwill and festive cheer or just two days and a roast? (S1, E06) 
01:00Rick and Morty Close Rick-Counters Of The Rick Kind Rick, falsely blamed for Murder by the council of Ricks, begins a cross-dimensional pursuit with the authorities while trying to prove his innocence. (S1, E10) 
01:30TripTank Gary gets pranked while hosting an important dinner, Versus pits a baby against a pack of wolves, and Steve fields awkward phone calls from his enitre family. (S2, E10) 
02:00South Park Cartman Finds Love Cartman's racist ways lead him to weave some unexpected, cupid style, magic. Meanwhile, Kyle is less than happy with what the rumour mill has to say about him. (S16, E07) 
02:30South Park Sarcastaball Randy is so enraged by South Park Elementary changing the rules of American Football he sarcastically suggests even more changes - be careful, you might get what you wish for. (S16, E08) 
03:00South Park Raising The Bar Cartman finally accepts he's more than just "big boned", entering the world of the obese and reality TV. Can James Cameron save us all from this lowering of standards? (S16, E09) 
03:25South Park Insecurity The men folk of South Park get mighty angry when a misunderstanding leads them to believe their wives are having affairs. Cartman takes matters into his own hands! (S16, E10) 
03:50South Park Going Native When Butters starts acting up at school, his parents realize it's time for him to go abroad and learn the ways of his people. Kenny will help him on his rights of passage! (S16, E11) 
04:15Two And A Half Men: Christmas Merry Thanksgiving When Charlie's favourite ex (Denise Richards) announces that she is going to get married Charlie attempts to win her back. Tensions arise at a family Thanksgiving. (S1, E10) 
04:35Two And A Half Men: Christmas Santa's Village Of The Damned Alan's latest girlfriend turns out to be a great cook and starts beefing up the boys, all the while creating a nest in their home and slowly taking over! (S3, E11) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.