This week's UK TV & radio

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Listings for Paramount on Monday, September 17 2018

06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
08:00My Wife And Kids Sharon's Picture Jay has Junior help her sort through a pile of Michael's stuff in the garage that hasn't been touched in five years and finds an old picture of his ex-girlfriend Sharon. (S3, E22) 
08:35My Wife And Kids Tee for Too Many Jay wants her and Michael to do more things together so she tags along for his golf game and ruins it, so Michael gets revenge by showing up at her yoga class... (S3, E23) 
09:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air You'd Better Shop Around Will goes with Phillip and Carlton to buy a new car. Will is so persuasive with Uncle Phil that the owner of the lot offers Will a job and Will accepts. (S4, E19) 
09:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air The Ol' Ball and Chain: Jazz announces he's about to get married to a woman recently released from prison. When she's alone with Will, she makes a pass at him. What to do? (S4, E20) 
10:00Scrubs Her Story II When Carla begins to feel old, she drags her friends to a college club. J.D. lets the little things bother him with Julie. This episode is narrated from Carla's viewpoint. (S5, E10) 
10:30Scrubs My Buddy's Booty A favourite patient is at death's door. Each of the staff finds their own way to deal with it - booty calls, drinking, and the hospital gym are all welcome distractions. (S5, E11) 
11:00Friends: Season 7 The One With The Engagement Picture Joey teaches Chandler how to smile for an engagement picture with Monica. Phoebe and Ross each date the members of a couple preparing for divorce. (S7, E05) 
11:30Friends: Season 7 The One With The Nap Partners Joey and Ross accidentally take a nap together and much to their dismay, find that they like it. Phoebe and Rachel compete to be Monica's maid of honour. (S7, E06) 
12:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Ross's Library Book Ross discovers that his dissertation is in a section of the library where students go to have "relations". (S7, E07) 
12:30Friends: Season 7 The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs Chandler's irrational fear of dogs causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute canine. (S7, E08) 
13:00Gilmore Girls A House Is Not a Home Rescuing Rory after a night of reckless behaviour with Logan, Lorelai is shocked to hear her daughter's plans for the future. Lorelai looks for help... (S5, E22) 
14:00Friends: Season 7 The One With All The Candy Monica becomes popular with her neighbours because of her homemade candy. Meanwhile, Ross teaches Phoebe how to ride a bike... literally. (S7, E09) 
14:30Friends: Season 7 The One With The Holiday Armadillo Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10) 
15:00Friends: Season 7 The One With All The Cheesecakes Chandler and Rachel can't help eating the irresistible cheesecakes that are meant for a neighbour. (S7, E11) 
15:30Friends: Season 7 The One Where They're Up All Night After the gang head to the roof to see a passing comet, separate events unfold that lead to all of them having a sleepless night. (S7, E12) 
16:00Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The guys undermine each other in a focus group, spread much confusion while teaming up at a bagel shop, and pass ridiculous notes to strangers at the park. (S9, E12) 
16:30Impractical Jokers: Season 9 The guys take name calling to new heights as receptionists and try to get donations for bogus charities at a pizza shop. (S9, E13) 
17:00Friends: Season 7 The One Where Rosita Dies Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (Jason Alexander). Meanwhile, Rachel and Chandler both think they've broken Rosita, Joey's recliner. (S7, E13) 
17:30Friends: Season 7 The One Where They All Turn Thirty Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th celebrations. (S7, E14) 
18:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Joey's New Brain Joey learns that his character in his daytime drama is about to gain prominence at the expense of the show's diva star (Susan Sarandon). (S7, E15) 
18:30Friends: Season 7 The One With The Truth About London Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is angry after Rachel teaches Ben practical jokes. (S7, E16) 
19:00Friends: Season 7 The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Meanwhile, Joey and Ross fight over the same girl and go to drastic measures to win. (S7, E17) 
19:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Joey's Award Joey is nominated for a "Soapie" but loses. However, when he accepts a different award on behalf of a co-star, he finds himself unwilling to hand it over. (S7, E18) 
20:00Friends: Season 7 The One With Ross and Monica's Cousin Monica's gorgeous cousin (Denise Richards) unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross as they become infatuated by her good looks. (S7, E19) 
20:30Friends: Season 7 The One With Rachel's Big Kiss Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister (Winona Ryder). Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos. (S7, E20) 
21:00New: Russell Howard's Good News Russell Howard takes a cheeky trawl through the news. Tonight features storm Desmond, a mysterious story about missing Welsh apples, and a weird story about Shakespeare getting wasted. (S10, E08) 
21:30Russell Howard's Stand Up Central Russell talks bread, wonky vegetables, and cleavage; plus answers questions on Lego and self-pleasure in space. His guests are Jimmy Carr and Darren Harriot. (S2, E01) 
22:00New: Impractical Jokers The guys attempt to trick receptionists with ridiculous disguises and try to get approval for an e-mail they're writing. This week's loser has to act as a dance teacher's assistant. (S11, E05) 
22:30New: Impractical Jokers: Inside... ...Jokes. How do you attach doll parts to a tire to create the famous Tire Baby? What are the coolest shoes that Murr owns? And why did Q want to join in on Sal's zoo punishment? (S2, E17) 
23:00Impractical Jokers: Memorable... ...Moments. The Jokers (in the first episode presented to a live audience) look back at compilations of memorable moments. (S6, E02) 
23:30Impractical Jokers: Joker vs... ...Joker. The Jokers review clips of four Joker vs. Joker challenges. The challenges include competing to have their baseball team mascots approved and presenting ridiculous book ideas. (S6, E05) 
00:00RuPaul's Drag Race The queens act in a classic '90s high school drama, directed by original Beverly Hills 90210 stars Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth, who also guest judge. (S9, E07) 
01:00The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air You'd Better Shop Around Will goes with Phillip and Carlton to buy a new car. Will is so persuasive with Uncle Phil that the owner of the lot offers Will a job and Will accepts. (S4, E19) 
01:30The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air The Ol' Ball and Chain: Jazz announces he's about to get married to a woman recently released from prison. When she's alone with Will, she makes a pass at him. What to do? (S4, E20) 
02:00South Park Do The H********** Go To Hell? (1): The boys are convinced they will go to hell when they die unless they confess all their sins. Satan is torn between two lovers: Chris and Saddam Hussein. (S4, E09) 
02:30South Park Probably (2): The boys build a church-shaped shack to live in and listen to Cartman the preacher man. Meanwhile, Satan turns to an unlikely source for advice about his relationship woes. (S4, E10) 
03:00South Park 4th Grade The boys enter the 4th grade and take a fast dislike to their new teacher, Ms Choksondik. Meanwhile, Mr Garrison realises he needs to acknowledge and confront his "gay side". (S4, E11) 
03:25The Cleveland Show Pilot Cleveland and his overweight 14-year-old son say goodbye to Quahog and set out for California. Along the way, Cleveland stops in his old hometown, where he marries Donna Tubbs. (S1, E01) 
03:50The Cleveland Show Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance Cleveland asks Roberta to accompany him to a daddy/daughter dance at school but his his hopes of establishing a bond are scuppered. (S1, E02) 
04:15Malcolm In The Middle Malcolm's Job Lois gets Malcolm a job at the store, exposing Lois's well-kept secret, Hal and some other fathers start betting on babies, and Dewey travels to the farm to visit Francis. (S5, E06) 
04:35Malcolm In The Middle Christmas Trees A layoff at work prompts Hal to make money selling Christmas trees. Francis and Piama's peaceful holiday comes to a crashing end when Otto's relatives show up at the ranch. (S5, E07) 
05:00Teleshopping Teleshopping. 
06:00Teleshopping Teleshopping.