This week's UK TV & radio

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Wednesday : Thursday : Friday : Saturday : Sunday : Monday : Tuesday : Wednesday
BBC 1
06:00Breakfast The latest news, sport, business and weather from the BBC's Breakfast team. [S] Including regional news at 25 and 55 minutes past each hour.
09:15Heir Hunters Watkinson/Clarke The Fraser and Fraser team tracks down heirs of widow Hilda Watkinson, one of ten children. Cat Whiteaway researches Bertha Clarke, who may have been illegitimate.
10:00Homes Under the Hammer Martin Roberts and Lucy Alexander visit a flat in South London that could benefit from more than just cosmetic surgery, a house in Herne Bay and a mid-terrace in Derby. [S] Then BBC News; Weather.
11:00To Buy or Not to Buy Property series. Love is in the air as Jonny Benarr and Ed Hall look for an Oxfordshire love nest, with room for tinkering and yoga, for a couple relocating from Coventry.
11:30Cash in the Attic Peter and Vanessa Wegmann are hoping to fund a pony for their 16-month-old son, Henry. [S] Then BBC News; Weather.
12:15Bargain Hunt 1/32. Newark: Identical twin sisters go up against a psychic and his wife in their search for bargains, aided by experts Mark Stacey and David Harper. Tim Wonnacott visits Belton House.
13:00BBC News at One The latest national and international news stories from the BBC News team, followed by weather.
13:30Midlands Today The latest news, sport and weather for the Midlands.
13:45Doctors A Boy Called Granddad Jimmi is suspicious of a young boy's accusations of police brutality, but his suspicion turns to fear when he's accused of injuring the boy himself. [AD,S]
14:15Diagnosis Murder 16/19. Broadcast Blues: Crime drama. A convict overpowers his guards when brought to Sloan for treatment, and holds the doctor hostage, asking to see the newscaster who covered his trial.
15:00BBC News The latest national and international news stories from the BBC News team, followed by weather. [S] Followed by regional news.
15:05Green Balloon Scrapbook CBeebies. 14/15. Song Special: Find out what the Green Team get up to when they're not in the Green Balloon. The team introduce their favourite songs in a special programme of music and verse.
15:30Eliot Kid CBBC. Only When I Laugh: Children's animation featuring the kid with the mind-boggling imagination. Mimi finds herself in hospital after falling out of a tree. Eliot and Kaytoo visit her.
15:40Wingin' It CBBC. Getting Out of Dodge: Live-action comedy. Carl is targeted for a dodgeball pummelling by Serge, prompting Porter to give Carl the magical ability to dodge anything and everything.
16:05Animals at Work CBBC. 7/13. Layla Public Relations Sloth: Factual series about working animals. Layla, the three fingered sloth prepares to take over the top job at her Costa Rican sanctuary.
16:35Deadly 60 CBBC. South Africa: Wildlife series. With his crew in tow, Steve Backshall is on a mission to find all the animals that most Africans spend as much time as possible avoiding.
17:00Newsround CBBC. Daily news magazine keeping young viewers up to date on the latest stories and events happening at home and abroad.
17:15The Weakest Link Anne Robinson presents the quick-fire general knowledge quiz in which contestants must decide at the end of each round which of their number should be eliminated.
18:00BBC News at Six The latest national and international news stories from the BBC News team, followed by weather.
18:30Midlands Today The latest news, sport and weather for the Midlands.
19:00The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. Jason Manford and Alex Jones bring viewers the stories that matter from across the country. Also in HD.
19:30EastEnders A vengeful Janine wreaks havoc for Bianca and Ronnie. Peggy is left devastated by Sam's shocking announcement, while Billy enlists Jay in his hunt for Phil. [AD,S] Then BBC News.
20:00Waterloo Road 2/20. School-based drama. Jess becomes jealous as Karen and Chris grow closer professionally and sabotages their friendship by publishing a vicious article in the school newspaper. Also in HD. [AD,S]
21:00Motorway Cops Catch Us If You Can The Motorway Cops are after runaway drivers including a stolen high performance car with a determined thief at the wheel.
22:00BBC News at Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide.
22:25Midlands Today The latest news, sport and weather for the Midlands. [S] Followed by national weather.
22:3510 Things You Need to Know... ...About Sleep. Documentary revealing the science behind why so many people find it difficult to nod off, and offering practical tips on the best ways to get a good night's sleep.
23:35The Abduction Club Romantic comedy about a 17th-century club in Ireland whose members attempt to woo wealthy heiresses, spirit them away at night and marry them before sunrise. Contains moderate violence.
01:10Holiday Weatherview Detailed weather forecast.
01:15Panorama Britain's Disappearing Wildlife A look at the decline of UK wildlife. There is more at stake than simply protecting the beauty of nature - our food supply could be under threat. [S,SL]
01:45It Shouldn't Happen at a Vets' Panorama goes undercover in one of Britain's largest veterinary chains. Contains some upsetting scenes. [S,SL]
02:45Countryfile Adam Henson and Ellie Harrison are in the Shropshire town of Ludlow, to help them celebrate the tenth anniversary of the local farmers' market. [S,SL]
03:40Ben Fogle's Escape in Time 9/20. Series in which families become Victorian farmers. The Dads learn that making a gate Victorian style isn't as simple as banging a few timbers together. [S,SL]
04:25BBC News BBC One joins the BBC's rolling news channel for a night of news, with bulletins on the hour and the headlines every 15 minutes.
BBC 2
06:00Wibbly Pig CBeebies. Everyone Hide: Preschool animation based on the popular children's books. Everyone hides from Wibbly Pig, but Wibbly wants to find them all so he can take his turn to hide.
07:00Everything's Rosie CBeebies. Ala-Kalama-Kazagaza-Zoom: Rosie lives in a playhouse with her colourful group of friends. Everyone is amazed when Bluebird's vanishing trick actually seems to work. [AD,S]
07:10Garth and Bev CBeebies. Flush Toilet: Garth, Bev and Grandfather Lir borrow Morc the Boatman's log boat to go for a picnic. [AD,S] Followed by Bob the Builder.
07:25Jollywobbles CBeebies. 7/13. Wakey Wakey: Live action sketch show featuring Justin Fletcher. Justin and his trusty car are struggling to wake up. They have a wash and brush up with an oversized toothbrush.
07:35Buzz and Tell CBeebies. Puppet panel show hosted by a walrus called Walter Flipstick. The contestants include Miss Honkover - an exotic showbiz bird, and Ken Koala, who is very shy.
07:40Timmy Time CBeebies. Timmy Wants the Drum: Stop-frame animation about a young lamb at nursery school. During a music lesson, Timmy decides he wants to play the drum, but he is given the triangle. [AD,S]
07:50Charlie and Lola CBeebies. It Wasn't Me!: Animation in which a pair of siblings deal with everyday topics. Lola's imaginary friend persuades her to borrow Charlie's rocket to take an elephant to the jungle.
08:00Prank Patrol CBBC. 1/10. Shark Shenanigans: Series in which children play pranks. This episode's prankster plans a fright for her best friend by bringing him face to face with a great white shark.
08:30Ed and Oucho's Excellent... ...Inventions. CBBC. 13/13. Davenportanator: Ed and Oucho need to find out about radio waves if they want to win Carl Trouser's quiz.
09:00Sam and Mark's Guide to Dodging... ...Disaster. CBBC. 4/13. How to survive the most dangerous situations that Mother Nature can throw at you. Sam and Mark find out how to avoid being charged by a rhino and bitten by a king cobra.
09:30Gimme a Break CBBC. Bishop - Lake District: Series in which kids take control of the family break. Adrenalin seekers Conor and Evie want to take their history-loving parents somewhere fun. [S] Followed by Leon.
10:00Copycats CBBC. Two families battle it out in a range of hilarious games based on the idea of Chinese Whispers and involving anything from remote control football boots to motorized toilets.
10:30Deadly 60 CBBC. Arizona: Steve Backshall and the team brave the intense heat of the Arizona desert. Featuring the hunting skill of the Harris hawk, some deadly rattlesnakes and an elusive cougar.
11:00Richard Hammond's Blast Lab CBBC. 13/13. Science game show. The theme is water tension and the teams of three brothers and three sisters have to hold a container full of water over their team mate's head.
11:30All the King's Men Classic drama. An idealistic politician (Broderick Crawford) starts out with a dream to improve the lives of others, but becomes just like those he used to oppose. [B&W, 1949]
13:15Ready Steady Cook Swimmers Sharron Davies and Mark Foster help chefs Nick Nairn and Phil Vickery to make a meal in twenty minutes. With Ainsley Harriott.
14:00Wanted Down Under 12/20. Nicki Chapman presents families with the chance to sample life on the other side of the world. A working mum and her family take a week to test the lifestyle in Christchurch.
15:00Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is Two experts from the world of antiques go head to head to raise money for charity. Is Paris ready for a whirlwind of antique buying with experts Eric Knowles and Charlie Ross?
15:45Flog It! Aylesbury New expert David Palmer is accompanied by veteran Adam Partridge and presenter Paul Martin, as they value items at Claydon House.
16:30Pointless 4/50. Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.
17:15Escape to the Country North Devon Property series. Jules Hudson attempts to help a couple find a detached house with four bedrooms for a budget of 550,000 pounds in hilly north Devon.
18:00Eggheads General knowledge quiz in which teams from all over the UK battle to beat the Eggheads, some of the country's top quiz champions.
18:30Restoration Roadshow 19/20. Series devoted to saving treasured heirlooms from the scrapheap. Eric Knowles and his team visit Blenheim Palace where heirlooms include an Edwardian Tiffany cocktail tray.
19:00Natural World 5/14. Africa's Dragon Mountain: A portrait of the Drakensberg - 'dragon mountains' - of South Africa following giant antelope and baboons as they struggle to survive in a land of extremes.
19:50Coast Norman Construction Mark Horton discovers how William the Conqueror taught the English how to construct castles, and why William looked to Normandy for the Tower of London's stone.
20:00E Numbers: an Edible Adventure 2/3. Preservatives: Stefan Gates uncovers the truth about food additives. He looks at preservatives, discovering one that keeps bacon free of deadly bacteria and one that's an explosive.
21:00Digging for Britain 3/4. Anglo-Saxons: Dr Alice Roberts follows a year of British archaeology. Skeletons at the royal seat of power in Bamburgh show signs of violent death but also of tenderness. [AD,S]
22:00Have I Got Old News for You 6/9. The popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Alexander Armstrong and guest panellists Jimmy Carr and Bob Crow.
22:30Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day's headlines with Gavin Esler. [S] Followed by weather.
23:20Nurse Jackie 9/12. Nosebleed: Drama series about a nurse. Jackie suffers a drug-induced nosebleed and learns that O'Hara has betrayed her secrets to a sister. Contains some strong language. [AD,S]
23:50Nurse Jackie 10/12. Ring Finger: Drama series about a New York nurse. Jackie resorts to extreme measures to get Coop off her back over the fake organ donor card. Contains some strong language. [AD,S]
00:20The Wounded Platoon A shocking look at heroism, grief, combat, drugs, alcohol, brutal murder and post-traumatic stress for a generation of American soldiers. Contains strong language and upsetting scenes.
01:20BBC News BBC Two joins the BBC's rolling news channel, with bulletins on the hour and the headlines every 15 minutes.
04:25Pages from Ceefax News and information from the BBC's Teletext service.
ITV 1
06:00Unavailable Due to requirements under the Broadcasting Act 1990, this channel is unavailable. If/when I am able to get direct permission from the broadcaster for royalty free display, it will return. Sorry for the inconvenience.>>
Channel 4
07:00Big Brother's Little Brother The ultimate fanzine show with exclusive access as George Lamb and Emma Willis present the latest breaking news from the house.
07:30Ultimate Big Brother Another chance to see highlights of the past 24 hours in the Ultimate Big Brother house.
08:40Frasier Maris Returns (Part 1): Niles' ex-wife Maris needs his help - can he keep her return secret from pregnant and emotional Daphne?
09:05T4: The Hollyoaks Music Show Rick Edwards returns for the second series of this music show where established popstars perform gigs on the Hollyoaks set. This episode features McLean, The Wanted and Pixie Lott.
09:35T4: Garfield Gets Real Film (2007) Mischievous mog Garfield escapes from the animated world he lives in into the real world, but when his comic strip is in danger of being cancelled, he must find a way back.
11:00T4: Friends The One with the Flashback When Janice innocently asks if any of the friends have ever dated one another, the scene is set for a flashback to three years earlier. [AD,S]
11:30T4: Friends The One with the Race Car Bed Joey sees Janice kissing her soon-to-be-ex husband and Rachel's father (Ron Leibman) clashes with Ross. [AD,S]
12:00Channel 4 News Summary Includes news headlines and weather.
12:05Brothers & Sisters Taking Sides Even in the wake of a life-threatening medical crisis and the excitement surrounding the birth of his son, Robert remains firm in his decision to run for governor. [AD,S]
13:00Jamie at Home A windswept Jamie explores the seemingly unlikely, but surprisingly bountiful world of winter salads.
13:30Broken Lance Film (1954) Spencer Tracy plays a strict disciplinarian who treats his sons (Robert Wagner, Richard Widmark, Earl Holliman) as little more than employees on his ranch, with fatal consequences.
15:25Countdown Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley host as contestants race against the clock to pit their wits against vowels, consonants and numbers. With Dictionary Corner guest Gloria Hunniford.
16:10Deal or No Deal Noel Edmonds asks the all-important question as contestants do battle with the Banker in their quest to leave the Dream Factory with £250,000.
17:00Come Dine with Me In Brighton it's the turn of Alistair James to host. But as tension mounts between guests Melody and Pasha, Alistair has his work cut out making his food the main event.
17:30Coach Trip It's day four and the tourists head to Bremen. But on arrival a dramatic emergency call is made after one passenger falls ill, resulting in an unexpected early departure from the trip.
18:00The Simpsons The Girl Who Slept Too Little The council moves the cemetery next door to the Simpsons. Perturbed by her new next door neighbours, Lisa starts having nightmares. Can she conquer her fear?
18:30Hollyoaks India frets over Alastair in his hospital bed, and is displeased to see Cindy doing the same. Cindy assures India she is genuinely worried about him. Meanwhile, Gilly is heartbroken.
19:00Channel 4 News Includes sport and weather.
19:554thought.tv Former MP Neil Hamilton taught at a faith school before his career in politics. He thinks the moral framework they impose could be a solution to the hedonism of contemporary society.
20:00Location, Location, Location Phil and Kirstie are in the south east, where Paul and Stephanie are stuck in a house bursting at the seams, and Noni and George are looking for a family home in Crystal Palace.
21:00The Hunt for Britain's Sex... ...Traffickers In the final film, the police target slave markets in Britain, where women are traded, and close in on the international masterminds at the head of this global industry.
22:00Ultimate Big Brother Highlights of the past 24 hours in the Ultimate Big Brother house.
23:10Cha'Mone - Mo'Fo'Selecta!... ...A Michael Jackson Tribute: Leigh Francis takes us on a journey through MJ's life with contributions from some new rubber-faced celebrities including Uri Geller and Kanye West.
00:15Coming Up: Boy The drama strand showcasing the UK's exciting new film makers. Kept a prisoner in his room, the boy is all alone until he finds a mouse. But the mouse needs to eat.
00:45Music on 4: The Album Chart... ...Show Spotlight: A round-up of the week's best single releases, including videos and performances.
01:00Ultimate Big Brother: Live See what the housemates are up to with live streaming direct from the Ultimate Big Brother house.
03:05The Hunt for Britain's Sex... ...Traffickers In the final film, the police target slave markets in Britain, where women are traded, and close in on the international masterminds at the head of this global industry.
04:00When Hell Freezes Australian adventurer Tim Jarvis retraces explorer Sir Douglas Mawson's Antarctic expedition of 1912 and the extraordinary story of human survival.
05:25Countdown Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley host as contestants race against the clock to pit their wits against vowels, consonants and numbers. With Dictionary Corner guest Gloria Hunniford.
Five
06:00Pocoyo Animation narrated by Stephen Fry. Elly is upset when her favourite doll goes missing, so Pocoyo turns detective to help her find it.
06:05Roary The Racing Car Racing animation. Breeze and Roary swap places for the day (and night). Roary soon discovers the beach is no place for a racing car to live.
06:15Thomas and Friends The adventures of a cheeky little tank engine. A fierce storm sweeps across the Island of Sodor and blows the roof off Farmer McColl's barn.
06:30Chiro CGI animation. Chiro and his buddies draw scary faces on each other. But when they frighten Ullala with their fiendish countenances, the game backfires.
06:35Elmo's World Educational fun. Elmo and his friends find out about cats. Mr Noodle gets chased by Barkley when he pretends to be a cat.
06:50Peppa Pig Animated series about a lovable little pig. When the family goes to Granny and Grandpa Pig's house for dinner, George is reluctant to eat his salad.
06:55Milkshake Monkey Preschool series following inquisitive puppet Milkshake Monkey. Milkshake Monkey learns how to be a glass blower.
07:00The WotWots Floppy Flufties This episode sees the two aliens playing a guessing game with their fluffy antenna. Later they visit the zoo to find an animal that might like to join in.
07:10Rupert Bear Rupert and the Unusual Birthday. Ping Pong's magic spells derail preparations for Edward's surprise birthday party, but disaster is averted... for one very simple reason!
07:20Bert and Ernie Heroes Bert and Ernie, posing as Super Pigeon and Rubber Ducky Man, must use their wings of steel and stretchy limbs to thwart the evil Mad Pancake, who has stolen their porridge.
07:25Milkshake A look ahead to today's children's programmes, including competitions and dedications.
07:30Roary The Racing Car Green Eyed Roary Animated adventures of the cheerful racing car. When CiCi is chosen as Maxi's training partner, Roary becomes jealous of their new friendship.
07:45Make Way For Noddy The Magic Powder Children's animated series. The Goblins create a magic foot powder that compels everyone in Toy Town to dance, leaving the Goblins free to make mischief.
08:00Fifi and The Flowertots Fun at the Fair. When the tots decide to hold their own funfair, everyone makes an effort to make it a very memorable day.
08:15Peppa Pig Animated series about a lovable little pig. Grandpa and Granny Pig take Peppa, George and all their friends on a boat trip to Pirate Island.
08:20Peppa Pig Pig tales. Daddy Pig has a book from the library that he has kept for too long. The family go to the library to return it and find more books to read.
08:25Thomas and Friends Don't Go Back Diesel challenges Thomas to a race backwards all around Sodor. Unable to see where they are going, the two engines cause chaos everywhere.
08:35Olivia Olivia and the Babies. After her mum gives birth to a baby boy, Olivia decides to adopt babies of her own - her dog Perry and cat Edwin.
08:50Mr Men Night. A nocturnal edition of the crazy animated sketch show. Mr Stubborn refuses to believe in the existence of werewolves, while Mr Lazy is mistaken for a mummy in the museum.
09:00Little Princess I Want a Shop Julian Clary narrates an animation based on the much-loved picture books. Little Princess decides to set up her own shop and searches the castle for things to sell.
09:15The Wright Stuff Matthew Wright hosts the topical debate show with panellists Tracy-Ann Oberman and Christopher Biggins. This morning's guest is TV presenter Aggie MacKenzie.
10:45Trisha Goddard Love Stop Your Controlling Ways Or I'm Leaving You for the Landlord Daytime discussion show.
11:45CSI: Miami Double Jeopardy Forensics drama based in Miami. A white supremacist is acquitted for the murder of his mixed-race wife but the CSI team is convinced of his guilt (18/25).
12:40Five News Lunchtime National and international news.
12:45The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi transforms failing hotels. Alex visits the Windsors Hotel, a struggling hostelry in Chertsey which is plagued with poor decor (5/6).
13:45Neighbours Diana attempts to sabotage a gig at Charlie's Bar. Summer convinces Natasha to get back at Andrew by attacking his ego.
14:15CSI: New York The Deep Crime drama. The CSI team investigates after the badly decomposed bodies of two scuba divers are found in the East River (2/21).
15:10The Family Recipe Cookery series in which celebrity chefs share their favourite family recipes. Today's chef is Anton Mosimann.
15:15Sex & Lies In Sin City Film Drama based on a true story starring Matthew Modine and Mena Suvari. When casino owner Ted Binion dies in suspicious circumstances, a number of people emerge as murder suspects. (2008)
17:00Five News National and international news.
17:30Neighbours Diana attempts to sabotage a gig at Charlie's Bar. Summer convinces Natasha to get back at Andrew by attacking his ego.
18:00Panda Week Wildlife presenter Nigel Marven heads to China to learn about giant pandas. Nigel climbs the holy mountain of Emei Shan and continues his search for a wild panda (4/5).
18:25Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Kate Walsh and Jayne Middlemiss. The programme features a look at the day's news alongside location reports, celebrity interviews and gossip.
19:00Five News at 7 National and international news.
19:30Escape From... ...Alcatraz. Historian Saul David presents some of the greatest historical escapes of the 20th century. David travels to Alcatraz, the prison for America's most dangerous criminals until 1963.
20:00Egypt's Lost Queen Documentary about Queen Hatshepsut, one of the most successful female pharaohs of Ancient Egypt. Legend has it that Hatshepsut dressed herself as a man and seized the throne (2/2).
20:58Five News at 9 The latest national and international news headlines.
21:00The Shepherd Film Explosive thriller starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Stephen Lord. A former cop must single-handedly thwart a drug cartel attempting to bring heroin into the US. (2008)
23:00Britain's Ugliest Models The London office enters pensioner Prince Albert for recognition in the Guinness Book of World Records. Meanwhile, in New York, we meet transgender model Laverne. (2/3)
00:00Super Casino Live interactive gaming featuring roulette, blackjack and autowheel. For more information and to register visit www.SuperCasino.com.
04:05House Doctor Home improvement series. Alistair Appleton and Californian interior designer Ann Maurice are in Cheltenham.
04:30Wildlife SOS Documentary series about the work of dedicated animal lovers who save injured and orphaned wild animals brought into their sanctuary.
04:55Animal Rescue Squad Highlights of the show in which Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker follow the urgent work going on to save and protect animals in the UK and abroad.
05:10The New Tomorrow Children's drama series, a spin-off from 'The Tribe'. The Ants and the Barbs decide to unite against the threat of the warlike Privs, while Flame swears revenge on Sky.
05:35Michaela's Wild Challenge Michaela Strachan and colleagues undertakes wildlife-related dares. Ellie puts her hand down a crocodile's throat, Michaela swims with baboons and Jamie swims with pilot whales.
06:00Pocoyo Animation narrated by Stephen Fry. Pocoyo and Pato find Elly's scooter and decide to take it back to her, but Pato wants to have a go on it first.
Sky One
06:00The Real A & E The team's healing hands are full when a man is rushed to A&E after shooting himself in the back. Meanwhile, a car fanatic is lucky to be alive and an OAP overcomes her fear of flying. Also in HD
07:00Crash Test Dummies More crazy capers from the boys in Dummyworld. Steve and Dan set about causing more destruction as they test anything and everything to breaking point. Also in HD
08:00Brainiac: Science Abuse Which is faster: a Brainiac or gunpowder? Why should you not put dynamite in your microwave? These and other important questions answered in another salvo from the Brainiac hotshots.
09:00Oops TV Justin Lee Collins voices this irreverent take on the traditional bloopers show. From hilarious home videos to YouTube shockers, the comedy series promises belly laughs aplenty.
09:30Oops TV Justin Lee Collins voices this irreverent take on the traditional bloopers show. From hilarious home videos to YouTube shockers, the comedy series promises belly laughs aplenty.
10:00Missing Mums: Lorraine Kelly... ...Investigates. Lorraine Kelly attempts to reunite families with their loved ones. Mum of four Sandra Gant hasn't been seen since 2003, while Janet Cowley went missing in 2008. Also in HD
11:00Wedding S.O.S Emotionally charged series following no-nonsense celebrity wedding planner Jane Dayus-Hinch as she attempts to ease wedding woes and make getting hitched hitch free. Also in HD
11:30Adoption Diaries Glenn & Jolie Having been turned down by plenty of adoption agencies, a young and homeless woman steps forward to give Mary and Mark the greatest gift. Also in HD
12:00The Real A & E The documentary provides an insight into the workings of the medical world. An asthma attack victim has the air ambulance tattooed on his chest after its crew saves his life. Also in HD
13:00Malcolm In The Middle Ida's Boyfriend Lois and Malcolm are suspicious when battle-axe Ida announces she's getting married and moving to Hong Kong. Something's not quite right, but what?
13:30Malcolm In The Middle Softball Malcolm joins the Lucky Aide softball team to get out of working the early shift with Lois. Unfortunately, Lois is coaching the team which spells doom for poor Malcolm.
14:00Liza And Huey's Pet Nation Former supermodel and all-round animal lover Jodie Kidd joins Liza and Huey in the studio. As ever, expect chaos and plenty of creature features from the light-hearted series. (8/10) Also in HD New.
15:00Stargate SG-1 It's Good To Be King When the Goa'uld try to enslave a planet for the second time, SG-1 step in to help. Only then do they discover that the 'king' is actually Colonel Maybourne. Also in HD
16:00Stargate SG-1 Full Alert Relations are strained between the US government and Russia, and Colonel Chekov pays a visit to General O'Neill with bad news. Security has been compromised. Also in HD
17:00Malcolm In The Middle Lois' Sister: Lois is furious when her sister lavishes expensive gifts on the kids during a rare visit. Only later does she realise why Susan is being so generous. Kooky comedy.
17:30Malcolm In The Middle Malcolm Dates A Family Malcolm clicks with his girlfriend's family, completely forgetting about his girlfriend. And Lois bans the boys from their favourite restaurant.
18:00Oops TV Justin Lee Collins voices this irreverent take on the traditional bloopers show. From hilarious home videos to YouTube shockers, the comedy series promises belly laughs aplenty. New.
18:30Simpsons Lisa The Drama Queen Lisa becomes friends with a girl who has a wild imagination. Soon, Springfield is an enchanted land, populated by sprites and fairies. Emily Blunt guest stars.
19:00Simpsons Eeny Teeny Maya Moe Moe, Springfield's Duff beer connoisseur, is on the lookout for love. Will Cupid aim arrows in his direction? Meanwhile, Homer spends quality time with Maggie. Also in HD
19:30Simpsons Chief Of Hearts Bromance blossoms between Homer and Chief Wiggum when the former is sentenced to community service. Marge proves that mothers don't always know best, too. (S21, ep 19) Also in HD
20:00The Real A & E A tiny spot on his toe leads to a diabetic losing half his leg, and a birthday weekend walk ends in disaster when a mum is left in agony after slipping in the mud. Also in HD
20:30Real Filth Fighters Follow extreme cleaning teams as they battle the smells, pests and hazards of the UK's drug dens, squats, fly-tipping sites and abandoned properties in their daily fight against grime. Also in HD
21:00Lie To Me Darkness & Light Secrets are spilled in this penultimate instalment. Bringing along daughter Emily for company, the human lie detector takes on the case of a runaway teen. (S2, ep 21) Also in HD New.
22:00NCIS: Los Angeles Full Throttle The team investigate the demise of a young naval office killed in an illegal street race. Meanwhile, Callen learns a few lessons at traffic school. (S1, ep 17) Also in HD
23:00NCIS: Los Angeles Blood Brothers The team investigate when a Marine Gunnery Sergeant is killed by a gang armed with AK-47s. To get to the bottom of the twisty tale, Sam goes undercover. (S1, ep 18) Also in HD
00:00A League Of Their Own It's round three and, while Peter Crouch's fiancée Abbey Clancy joins Redknapp on the Reds, Neil Morrissey is picked for Flintoff's Blues. Corden referees. (3/10) Also in HD
00:30Road Wars The Thames Valley Police provide a fascinating insight into car crime and its prevention. Plus, shocking video footage captures dangerous drivers in action. Strong language.
01:00Road Wars In a dramatic edition, Tristan tries to stop a young lad from injuring himself. Plus, Jim and Lloydy confront a driver who refuses to pass over her correct details. Strong language. Also in HD
02:00Street Wars Join Medway's Police Tactical Unit as they answer calls and tackle street crime. Footage of real life criminals caught on tape with some strong language.
03:00Road Wars The Thames Valley Police provide a fascinating insight into car crime and its prevention. Plus, shocking video footage captures dangerous drivers in action. Strong language.
03:25The 4400 Gone Diana is approached by a woman claiming to be Maia's sister. But Tom discovers that she's an agent from the future sent back to abduct 4400 children. Spooky drama. (Part 1 of 2) Also in HD
04:20Top Design Window Display It's paint brushes at dawn as aspiring interior designers go head to head. The decorating divas must create a window display inspired by a garment. New.
05:10Sell Me The Answer Gethin Jones hosts this all or nothing quiz show. The stakes are high as contestants barter with answer-selling 'traders' in a bid to win £25,000. But can the traders be trusted? Also in HD
06:00The Real A & E The insightful documentary draws to a close. A 61-year-old man finds himself at the centre of a huge airlift rescue during a day out with his wife, and a BMX stunt goes badly wrong. Also in HD
ITV 2
06:00Unavailable Due to requirements under the Broadcasting Act 1990, this channel is unavailable. If/when I am able to get direct permission from the broadcaster for royalty free display, it will return. Sorry for the inconvenience.>>
E4
06:00Beauty and the Geek Lovelorn Science The beauties work on science projects and present their findings to experts. The geeks offer love advice to listeners on a national radio station.
07:35Friends The One Where Heckles Dies When grumpy neighbour Mr Heckles dies, the gang clean out his apartment. This leads to Chandler worrying that he too will end up alone. [AD,S]
08:00Supernanny US Supernanny helps stressed out mum Jen Bowersock who believes her two girls hate her. Mum and Dad Thad are at odds with their different styles. Can Supernanny help?
08:55Beauty and the Geek Lovelorn Science The beauties work on science projects and present their findings to experts. The geeks offer love advice to listeners on a national radio station.
09:55Friends The One Where Heckles Dies When grumpy neighbour Mr Heckles dies, the gang clean out his apartment. This leads to Chandler worrying that he too will end up alone. [AD,S]
10:20Gilmore Girls To Live and Let Diorama Lane, Rory and Paris get intoxicated on Miss Patty's infamous leftover Founder's Day Punch.
11:15Desperate Housewives Mother Said Mike's mother takes Susan to task about her absent-minded behaviour and lack of earning power. Carlos and Gabrielle discover some disturbing news about their tenant. [AD,S]
12:10Ultimate Big Brother Highlights of the past 24 hours in the Ultimate Big Brother house.
13:20Ultimate Big Brother: Live See what the housemates are up to with live streaming direct from the Big Brother house.
14:35Hollyoaks As they prepare to start their first day at Hollyoaks High, Sinead shows Finn exactly how she's going to make waves. Meanwhile, Alistair is keen for Cindy to sign a prenuptial agreement.
15:05Gilmore Girls To Live and Let Diorama Lane, Rory and Paris get intoxicated on Miss Patty's infamous leftover Founder's Day Punch.
16:00Samantha Who? The Ex After finally telling her boyfriend Owen that she lives with her ex-boyfriend, Sam becomes jealous of Owen's ex-girlfriend.
16:25Friends The One Where Eddie Won't Go Chandler wants his annoying new roommate to move out, Joey faces some exorbitant bills, and the women read up about personal empowerment. [AD,S]
17:00Friends The One Where Old Yeller Dies Phoebe finds out what she missed as a child, and Rachel resents the fact that Ross is planning the rest of their lives together. [AD,S]
17:30Friends The One with the Bullies Chandler and Ross run into a couple of bullies in Central Perk. Meanwhile, Rachel and Joey help Phoebe search for her father. [AD,S]
18:00Big Brother's Little Brother The ultimate fanzine show with exclusive access as George Lamb and Emma Willis present the latest breaking news from the house.
18:30The Big Bang Theory The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition Penny develops a rivalry with a sexy new female neighbour (Valerie Azlynn) who threatens to become the 'new Penny'. [AD,S]
19:00Hollyoaks When Eva sees Alistair drowning his sorrows, she wastes no time introducing herself. But, then Cindy shows up... Sinead is put out that her dad is Acting Head of her school.
19:30Friends The One Where Eddie Won't Go Chandler wants his annoying new roommate to move out, Joey faces some exorbitant bills, and the women read up about personal empowerment. [AD,S]
20:00Friends The One Where Old Yeller Dies Phoebe finds out what she missed as a child, and Rachel resents the fact that Ross is planning the rest of their lives together. [AD,S]
20:35Friends The One with the Bullies Chandler and Ross run into a couple of bullies in Central Perk. Meanwhile, Rachel and Joey help Phoebe search for her father. [AD,S]
21:00The Big Bang Theory The Excelsior Acquisition Sheldon is summoned to court for driving through a red light. He misses meeting Stan Lee and riles the judge. Will he be sent to prison? [AD,S]
21:30How I Met Your Mother Rabbit or Duck Barney holds his phone number up during the Superbowl and is inundated with phone calls from women. Lily and Marshall set Ted up on a blind date.
22:00Accidentally on Purpose Brand new series - Back to School: Zack takes Billie to his school reunion but worries that they'll run into his beautiful ex-girlfriend who Billie knows nothing about. [AD,S]
22:35Alan Carr: Chatty Man Whoopi Goldberg chats about being in Sister Act The Musical, Kim Cattrell discusses her role in Antony and Cleopatra, and Jedward talk about their new TV show. Plus, music from McFly.
23:25Important Things With Demetri... ...Martin The second series of this sketch show sees comedian explore one 'important thing' each episode. In this episode, Demetri focuses his attention on the theme of control.
23:55The Big Bang Theory The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition Penny develops a rivalry with a sexy new female neighbour (Valerie Azlynn) who threatens to become the 'new Penny'. [AD,S]
00:25Ultimate Big Brother: Live See what the housemates are up to with live streaming direct from the Big Brother house.